DIALOGUE

DIALOGUE

The equine-assisted industry has always attracted a cast of characters who create “certifications” and trainings.  These range from organizations with memberships to individual practitioners who brand their style and way of facilitating into a package that is sold to hungry equine-loving people. 

My client, Nicole from Detroit Horse Power (DHP) and I decided to attend the annual conference of one of these organizations.  We’ll call it Hooves and Humans Association (H&HA).  It was a perfect opportunity for Nicole and I to spend a couple hours in a car together getting to and from the event, as well as her first immersion into the culture of one of the many equine-assisted training organizations.  During the three-hour ride, we easily bonded over our shared commitment to DHP, its’ mission, and horses in general.  Throwing in a little interesting family member stories cemented our friendship! 

I’d been helping DHP’s founder, David Silver, from his beginning over a decade ago.  He attended a customized training for equine facilitators at my farm before he started leading his first summer camps. For the last few years, I’d been consulting with Nicole and David to support them in creating an equine-assisted leadership program.  We’re targeting individuals and organizations living and working in the Detroit area who are seeking professional development and personal growth opportunities.  Once the 10-million-dollar equestrian center is built in the heart of the city and the youth programs are running smoothly, plans are to launch these leadership offerings.

The vision is to have a “stable” (bad pun intended) of facilitators available.  For example, when a potential client is interested in DHP’s leadership program we will match them with a provider that can deliver the outcomes they seek. This could range from solving ineffective communication, or healthy conflict, to developing high-performance teams. 

The work we are doing now is to build the infrastructure or framework.  This means we are mining the industry for best practices, while seeking solutions that happily marry with the DHP youth programs.  The more educated Nicole can get about the equine-assisted industry, the better she can guide our process of introducing potential equine-assisted learning partners; encouraging them to become co-creators of our offerings.     

Nicole and I arrived at the conference hotel, grabbed our luggage out of the back seat of her Jeep and headed toward the hotel registration desk.  After checking into our rooms, we agreed to meet back in the lobby in 15 minutes, to check into registration together. 

At the agreed time, we be-lined toward the conference registration tables.  Two smiling ladies in cowboy hats and matching turquoise t-shirts featuring a horse logo greeted us.  They checked our names off their computer list and handed us a flyer with a QR code of the conference schedule.  They instructed us to pick up our nametag on the table next them, then decorate it with a variety of ribbons indicating our interests.  They invited us to grab a pop, coffee, and snacks that were at the far end of the room near the exit door.   They completed their introductory spiel by letting us know that the opening plenary session would begin after lunch in the Spartan Conference room just across from the registration tables.  The morning sessions were labeled with signs outside each breakout room. 

Nicole and I thanked them and took our name tags over to the table covered in brightly colored ribbons.  Checking out some of the other attendees, we noticed people with long “tails” of many ribbons layered, stuck together one after and another. 

The light blue ribbon said “Facilitator”.  The pink, blue, and rainbow ones indicated different gender preferences.  There was a yellow one with the letters “DEI Stakeholder” and an orange one with the words “Mental Health” on it.  There were several that we were confused about and didn’t recognize their meaning.  We determined that those ribbons must be for members of H&HA.  Since we were new to the organization, we felt left out and excluded.  Which, ironically, is the core value of this organization – that EVERYONE belongs. 

Lastly, the turquoise one had the letters “EFL” for equine-facilitated learning.  EFL is an interesting choice, since seven industry leaders worked for two years on a terminology paper.   They concluded that for all things equine learning related, aka nontherapy, the services should be labeled equine-assisted learning in education, EAL in organizations, and EAL in Professional Development. 

This white paper was intended for the industry to come together, eliminating the multitude, I mean hundreds, of confusing acronyms.  The hope was that by creating and agreeing to a universal language, research would be more recognized, with potential funding sources realizing that equine-assisted and equine-facilitated could actually be one in the same.     

Nicole and I tried to figure out what ribbons we related too.  I selected EFL (since there was no EAL) and DEI Stakeholder.  Nicole felt she could only represent DEI Stakeholder.  We commented to each other how we felt like we weren’t part of the in-crowd because of our lack of ribbons.  We also noted that for an organization that prides itself on inclusivity, our first introduction was just the opposite.     

We each attended different sessions throughout the rest of the morning, meeting up at lunch to compare notes.  Each of experienced a “sit and git” type session with the presenter in the front of the room sharing a power point.  Death by power point is one of my main complaints about conferences, especially in a field where we practice experiential learning. 

My frustration for it is followed closely by “the sage on the stage”.  I shared my perspectives with Nicole, who appreciates my intolerance, though neither bothers her nearly as much as it does me.  If we’re such experts at creating engaging learning environments, then why oh why don’t these horse people learn to do better and be better.  It’s one thing for “regular” people to not be familiar with connection before content.  It’s another for an industry that literally embraces somatic practices each time they invite a client to their space.  “How can these people be so ignorant or tolerant?”  I ranted to Nicole.

After lunch we sat next to each other in a large hall filled with about 250 attendees.  The presentation took place in the front of the room (of course!) with two presenters zooming in because they had conflicts in their schedules and couldn’t join us live.  The third monitor featuring a presenter was because she had tested positive for Covid just prior to leaving for the event. 

An additional two women sat in chairs on the stage with microphones in hand.  The session was to share the story about the aforementioned terminology white paper.  Each of the presenters, the three zooming in and the one on the stage sat on the two-year committee determined to come to a consensus regarding language. Our host, Margaret, the Executive Director of Hooves and Humans Association was the monitor for the session.

At some point Margaret referred to her work as EFL.  My head quickly swiveled to turn wide-eyed to Nicole, mouthing the gesture of biting my tongue.  Not one person on the panel questioned Margaret’s reference!  Nobody in the room questioned her as to why she had not adopted the new terminology.  This was the opposite of a dialogue.  It was an outrage to me, lacking so much integrity, it took everything in me to stay in my seat.

After the session, Nicole and I stood in the open conference area, reliving what we just witnessed.  I shared with her that I was disappointed that none of the women who devoted so much time and energy to creating a universal language even inquired as to why Margaret preferred EFL.  Sadly, I shared, this is another example of the lack of investment, or healthy risk taking, which was undermining the potential power the industry could collectively deliver. 

I further explained to her that through dialogue we’re able to allow for difference, seeking understanding.  I mused aloud that if they’d have had that conversation in a horse pasture, the horses would have called BS, relocating as far away from these inauthentic people as possible.  As with the equine work, we both left the conference with new unexpected insights by staying open to what emerged right in front of us.

Recall a time when you’ve wanted to challenge someone on a statement they’ve made.  If you did, what were the circumstances that allowed you to move into that space?  If you didn’t, what were the barriers that stopped you?

Have you been challenged by someone on a statement you’ve made?  How did that make you feel?  What did you do about it?

When entering into future conversations, what can you do to invite inquiry and dialogue?  How will you know you’re successful?     

THE END IS THE NEW BEGINNING

THE END IS THE NEW BEGINNING

Drew, my accountant, invited me to provide a training day for him and his staff of six women. One of the best compliments a small business owner can get is to have a stakeholder or supplier hire you for your services.  Equine-Assisted Learning (EAL) puts all of the participants in a very vulnerable spot because of its’ experiential nature.  We’re not a cookie cutter program that is “teaching” a process for more effective communication.  We create opportunities for people to “fail” and learn from those mistakes with our horse partners.  We then help our clients discover and commit to actions that transfer those lessons back to their workplace.  Authentic leaders are willing to put themselves in this exposed environment so that they can learn and grow.  Their new insights offer opportunities to make impactful changes to themselves and their organizations. 

One of our favorite activities for humans and horses is to invite the humans to build a course for the horses to go through.  PVC pipes, colorful pool noodles, orange traffic cones, and other horse-safe stuff.  Drew’s dad, W. Don, who started the firm, was retiring at the end of the year.  The path we invited Drew and his team to make was to represent a future without W. Don at the helm. 

We explained that for the first five minutes they could talk and plan what they were going to do.  After the five minutes, if they talked or touched a horse there would be a consequence.  Sara and I explained that they are the ones to decide the consequence.  The rules were that whatever they decided would have to be done here and now.  It needed to be able to be done multiple times, in case they broke the rules more than once.  Lastly, they were asked if only the offender would be doing the consequence or if the whole group would be.  After a little discussion, they decided that it would be a whole group consequence, reasoning that they were here today for team building and being accountable to all would support them reaching that goal.  The consequence would be jumping jacks.  We asked how many?  Three. 

They spent five minutes of planning reviewing all of the toys.  After the planning phase, they entered the arena with the horses and starting laying out the pvc pipes, cones, hula hoops in two parallel lines.  Even though my horses have seen these same props many times, Chalie curiously sniffed some toys.  Diva moved around the arena, checking out the toys and people, tempting them to engage more with her.  Tigger couldn’t be bothered, she just stood watching the work, patiently waiting to see what would happen next.

The group worked together, using some the pool noodles like an extension of their arms creating pressure which moved the Charle through the path. When he got through to the end all of people turned to look at Sara and I as if to say, “We did it.  Now what” Yet, not one person actually said anything, so we didn’t either.

Not getting the reaction they sought from us, they all kind of shrugged and got back to work trying to get Diva and/or Tigger through the path.  Tigger wasn’t having any of it.  She really doesn’t move unless it’s her idea or she’s enticed through pressure, food, or another incentive such as fear.  D was more willing and responded, like Charlie did, to the noodle pressure;  she moved from one end of the path to the other.  Again the group looked at us, the facilitators, and again, nobody said anything. Once again, we didn’t either.  They shrugged and got back to work.  This repeated itself a few more times. 

Sara and I whispered to each other checking in to make sure we were in agreement that we shouldn’t save them or interrupt their process.  Our instincts were that the learning was happening in the struggle of their being uncomfortable.  They KNEW they had accomplished the goal, yet here they were, repeating the activity over and over because we hadn’t acknowledged it.    

Finally, it was approaching lunch time.  I called Drew and his team into a circle and asked what just happened.  They explained that they completed the task and were waiting for us to tell them they were done.  I inquired, why didn’t they ask us? They said because we told them they couldn’t talk.  No, we explained, they couldn’t talk without a consequence.  Meaning, if they talked and it meant they broke the rule they would have had to do three jumping jacks.  If they talked and we didn’t think that a rule was being broken, no jumping jacks.  In other words, had they asked us if they were done they would have been done with the activity about forty-five minutes ago.

We asked them how the horses responded to the activity.  They noted that Tigger didn’t really move much.  We all laughed.  D and Charlie were willing to go through the path when they used the noodles as wands.  We dug deeper and asked if the horses seemed upset or bothered by repeatedly going through the path.  Mary acknowledged that they seemed more bored than frustrated.  We shared with them that the horse’s behavior, of being calm and present, was an indicator or their organizational culture.  That because they weren’t frustrated or irritated by the repeating of the activity, the horses read that energy and that’s why they were also calm and simply kept doing what they were asked.  We shared that we’ve worked other groups, such as a sales team, that is driven by effective and timely results. Because a sales culture is high energy, we’ve witnessed horses running all over the place to the point of becoming dangerous. 

The big take-away for the group was that their world, as accountants and financial advisors, was to work independently with established deadlines set by the state and federal governments.  Now that Drew would be in charge, he would have to step into that new role.  Over lunch we brainstormed various ways to support Drew in the transition.

A couple of their key lessons learned were that they didn’t clearly define “success” at the outset, so they didn’t know when or if they achieved it.  That they need to think more about the actual “consequences” and evaluate whether takings risks are worth it. They acknowledged that individuals made many, and different assumptions, yet did not take any action to confirm or deny those assumptions.  They also thought if they didn’t get caught, it did not count.  Lastly, they acknowledged they fell into “group think” and subjugated their individual needs (bored, restless, confusion) rather than risk the “consequence”. What they realized was if they weren’t careful and paying attention, that they could be wasting time and resources if they didn’t step back and take a look at the bigger picture.

They came up with seven action plans to transfer the learning. These included having regular staff meetings where they could all come together to share goals and challenges. Each of them established SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound) goals, holding each other accountable for reaching them.

Life – not just human life – all life is a series of cycles.   Sometimes endings are clear, planned, and expected.  Other times they are sudden, not recognized at the time as an ending.  In either case they may be welcomed or unwelcomed.  Regardless, an ending is only half of the equation, there is also a new beginning.

Share a time when you welcomed an ending of something even though you were scared or uncertain about a new beginning?

What lessons have you learned from that experience and how does it inform your life decision-making now?

Can you think of a future experience where you can leverage your new found awareness to improve a situation, circumstance, or event?

PLEASURE

PLEASURE

One by one individuals’ cars and trucks flew up the gravel driveway kicking up dust.  We could hear the “beep beep’s,” through the open windows as they locked their doors.  They entered through one of two doors into the conference room.  Stacie and I welcomed them by motioning toward the table piled with baked goods, protein bars, fresh fruit, and string cheese.  We invited them to grab a cup of coffee, tea, or hot chocolate.  The black chalkboard fridge announced in colorful multi-colored chalk the types of cold soft drinks and juices available inside it. 

The group milled around getting acquainted with each other when I announced we’d be starting soon.  An older gentleman approached me asking where he might find a restroom. 

‘First door on the left outside this door”, I stated pointing to the door on my left.  “Be sure to lock it so you don’t get company.”  I quipped.

He smiled as he strode towards the door I indicated.  A few minutes later he reentered the conference room with a puzzled look on his face.   Knowing the cause for his confusion, I looked at him and said,

“Because I can.”

He chuckled and moved toward the butterhorns and apple strudel.

Next, we heard a car door slam and a young lady entered from the parking lot. She approached Stacie and I as we started distributing release forms and pens.  She asked for a restroom as the rest of our guests were topping off their coffee and grabbing a last plate of food. 

When she returned from the restroom, she squared up her shoulders and announced to the group, who were now heads down reading and completing the release forms,

“Why, pray tell, is there a horse head in the shower?”  she inquired.

The gentleman who used the restroom earlier, beat me to the punchline by confidently stated, “because she can.” grinning from ear-to-ear. 

Most people swiveled their heads, puzzled by the exchange, not yet in on the joke. 

The gentleman explained.  I walked into the bathroom and headed toward the toilet on the back wall.  After finishing my business, I turned around to find a brown life-sized horsehead sticking out of the bronze and gold cloth shower curtain. 

I jumped in to further explain. 

“In the hallway on the way to the arena, you’ll find Kaleidohorse, a life-size horse with a multi-colored kaleidoscope design on the barrel side of his body.  We take him with us to exhibits and trade shows.” 

Laughing, I told them “He’s what we call and “easy keeper”.

Soft chuckles could be heard as I continued, “He really draws attention to our booth or display, since he’s usually the only horse in the building.

The horsehead is because when my husband, Randy, suggested I buy this life-size horse.  I originally said, “No” because he was $1,000.   These fiberglass horses are used to display tack, such as saddles or harnesses for western stores or other stores selling horse equipment. At first, I didn’t appreciate Randy’s vision for how Kaleidohorse could be used to tell the Kaleidoscope story, drawing curious people into our space.

One day, I stopped into a tack store in the Thumb of Michigan that was going out of business.  After picking up a variety of half-off helmets, and other bargins, I spotted the horse head. I called my husband, asking him,

“Hey Randy, if a whole horse is $1,000.  What do you think just the head is worth?” 

We both laughed.  A clerk overheard my conversation, then offered,

“Well, this one is for sale for $50 bucks”. 

“Sold” I replied.

Now, what do you do with a horse head that we didn’t need to display a halter or bridle?  Then, like a lightening bolt, it hit me.   

I tucked him in the corner of the half-circle shaped shower, so he’s peeking out of the side.  Realizing when women entered the room they’d sit down and be greeted by him.  More entertaining still, would be the men who most likely would have their backs to him until they turned around. I threatened to add a motion detector sensor so that he could say something clever.  Though I never created a “Mr. Ed” or taking horse, I have had fun when people, like you folks today, get to meet him for the first time.

On a more serious note, part of the reason there is horsehead in the shower is because it being there sets a tone.  It says that we’re here to work and also to have fun.  It’s simple, yet intentional.

Sometimes pleasure comes into your life as a surprise or unintentional.  A unexpected connection that one didn’t anticipate or see coming.  I was fortunate to experience the joy of this accidental? synchronicity when Nicole from Detroit Horse Power invited me to meet with a new barn partner they were considering using for a future program. 

The meeting between Nicole, Deb, and I started with Deb and I connecting over our shared, and different, interactions with the people and approaches in equine-assisted industry.  We discovered that we have similar Meyer’s Briggs personality styles.  She is an ENFP and I’m an ENFJ, meaning we can easily find things in common because we share similar world views and values. 

Nicole was visibly loving our shared experiences.  She told us she wished she could take all our stories and make them her own, learning from our numerous equine interactions.  The back-and-forth between Deb and I was so natural.  For example, I made the comment that my team and I often say “You can’t make this sh*t” up”.  She laughed, sharing that one of her co-facilitators, Betsy, says “Yaka Ma Soo” meaning the same thing!

The most pleasurable part of our interaction was when we moved beyond the boardroom to the pasture.  Once Nicole made her good-byes, warmly giving us both hugs; Deb asked me if I’d like to meet her herd.  I told her I never say no to “petting a pony” so she opened the gate to her five geldings.  The curious boys made their way up from the back of the pasture to check me out.  The bay pinned his ears to ward off the pinto when he tried to enter my space, indicating that he was higher in the herd.  Deb shared the history of each of the horses, while attentively watching to make sure they behaved or at least did not create a dangerous situation.

She then invited me to go through the slated white fence to a pasture where three mares and a gelding were grazing.  Looking at her newly mowed pasture, we randomly talked about the joys of cutting grass.  A simple accomplishment that got us outside, away from a computer, and enjoying nature.  We laughed about how as entrepreneurs and horse owners, the range and variety of “hats” we were required to wear.    

The next thing I knew a gelding purposefully came straight towards me.  I asked Deb what his behavior meant.  She countered with “well, what did it mean to you?”  That’s when I realized I was being facilitated.  It was EXACTLY what I automatically did with people when I had my farm and herd.  I would invite future collaborators, partners, to say “hello’ to the herd with the intent of learning what my horses could tell me about them.  People can tell you one thing - the horses will always they tell you the truth! 

The gelding moved on when one of the mares pushed him away from me, seeking scratches.  I gently began scratching her withers.  I told Deb about how much I was enjoying hearing from past participants while researching my essay project.  That the feedback was so affirming to learn after years had gone by, they still found their equine-assisted experience with me as rewarding and memorable.  Deb then pointed out that the mare was licking and chewing.  A physical sign that I was being congruent with my actions and words.  Affirming my thoughts as true.  WoW, I thought to myself, this is why I Love this work so much. 

Even though I was feeling as though we could easily talk for another three hours, I decided it was time to get home.  We made our way out of the pasture, through the gate. Standing next to my Jeep, we were saying our good-byes when I shared one last story with Deb.  I told her that my daughter and grandson were recently visited and I was disappointed in the minuscule amount of time that I had with him.  Deb looked across the driveway, directing me to witness that her three brood mares had chosen to face me instead of grazing.  She shared she believed their behavior was affirming that my feelings were correct.  Validating that I’d need to have a conversation with my daughter in the future to determine if there was something more going on that I was missing. 

From horse heads in a shower, to being open to new relationships, pleasure is packaged many different ways.  When a person stays open, intentionally seeking connection, the world responds.  And if you’re really fortunate, a horse or two might share their perspective too!

Recall a time when you were pleasantly surprised by an unexpected gesture, gift, or reaction.

Why was your response unanticipated?  What were the circumstances that helped support the surprise reaction?

Going forward, is there an action or behavior you can commit to that will support more positive surprises and results?

JOY

JOY

Stacie’s friend, Nancy, was a high-powered executive in equipment sales to veterinarians.  As the top salesperson she travelled the country to meet with doctors serving large, wealthy, farm and ranch owners.  She was also a successful and dedicated horse woman, breeding, showing, and judging horse shows for three decades. 

Nancy had a horse, Buddy, that she was looking to rehome.  She discovered, after numerous tests and thousands of dollars, that Buddy, a former championship gelding, had an unrepairable injury.  His sternum had torn detaching it from his chest wall.  He would never again be able to perform up to his past accomplishments. 

She knew from his former owners that horse trainers had thought his lack of performance was behavioral instead of realizing his chest muscle was completely torn from his breastbone.  Because these people decided it was behavioral, their training methods were often cruel; some might consider it torture or abuse.  Many people in the horse world still consider “breaking” a horse to be a valid and useful method of gaining compliance.  Nancy’s years of experience with horse show people helped her recognize that they would be too tempted to push him beyond his physical limits when they read his pedigree.  Once they saw his winning past, career stats, and blood line, they would likely put their desires to win “at-all-costs” over his physical ability to compete.       

Nancy decided she would find a non-show person who could home him so that he could retire from performing.  She felt his sweet disposition and calm presence would be perfect for someone who could just appreciate him.  I became that someone for three months.  Since I am not a rider, the fact that he wasn’t easy to ride didn’t matter to me.  He came with a few other challenges though.  He had to be pastured alone because the one time he was with another horse, Nancy was afraid he was going to literally kill the mare she had in the pasture with him. 

Once I met him and agreed to re-home him, I reached out to a farm four miles from our home.  My former farm manager, Tam, had worked at Wendy’s for years.  Wendy didn’t normally accept boarders, though when Tam asked her if I could board Buddy, she responded, “I like Tracy” welcoming Buddy and I to her barn family.

I went into the relationship with the intent of building a relationship with Buddy.  Period.  It had been years since I had a regular connection with a horse, so I was looking forward to the opportunity. I created a reflection sheet to capture our exchanges.  In addition to basic facts, I included “my mindset” “desired outcomes” and “actual outcomes”.  I also dedicated a journal to periodic reflections of our interactions. 

His delivery day finally arrived, a day with Spring thunderstorms dancing across the State.  While I patiently waited at Wendy’s for Nancy to arrive with Buddy, I wandered around the pastures, curiously looking down at the grass and clover.  Surprisingly, peaking through the kelly green grass and three-leafed plants was a magical clover with four petals!

My finding was reminiscent another time I discovered this serendipitous omen.  It was the only time I won a horse show championship. When I was a teenager showing Nipper Jon in Pennsylvania I was walking back from our horse trailer, through the huge field, making my way to the barn prior to my class.  It was the first time I would be riding in a championship; the judge having placed Jon and I first in our English pleasure class.  I found a bright shamrock green four-leaf clover poking its perfect shaped leaves steadily toward the sun.  I now had a dilemma.  Which would bring me more luck – feeding the yummy morsal to my beautiful flaxen gelding or tucking it in my pocket?  I chose to feed it to Nipper, whose soft cleanly shaven mussel and big fuzzy horse lips gobbled up in one bite!  As luck would have it, that choice turned out to be the right one.

What better way to welcome Buddy into my life than with a magical treat from the earth!  Once Buddy was securely settled in his stall in the front corner munching on a pile of hay, I pulled the clover from my barn coat pocket, extended my flattened hand, offering the delicate leafy talisman in my palm.  Buddy picked up his head from his hay, curiously moved the few steps towards me.  He sniffed, nearly blowing the precious clover off my hand.  Then, he slightly lifted his head, opened his soft lips, accepting my gift. 

The day after his delivery to Wendy’s, I arrived at the farm with the intention of grooming him.  It was funny how foreign it felt to be alone in his stall with no other humans around.  What used to be natural for me, hanging out with just horses several times a day, was now strange and uncomfortable. 

I took a deep breath to center myself, showing him two black plastic curry combs.  He “picked” one by carrying it away in his mouth, bobbing his head, slowly walking toward the rear of the stall.  I let him play with the curry, grabbed a brush instead and moved to the side of his large brown-haired body.  He dropped the comb, then curiously moved toward the blue grooming box and began to chew on a pink handled plastic spray bottle.  Many geldings are known to be “mouthy” playing with things.  The important part of learning he liked to nibble was making sure I wasn’t one of his future “playthings”.

While I brushed him, he yawned seven times.  Yawns are considered by many to be a show of releasing tension.  I took his yawns as a sign that by giving him his freedom to move, not correcting his action by asking him to stand still he realized I was only seeking connection.  My interpretation was we were off to a good beginning that by simply sharing space we were establishing a solid foundation for our relationship.

When Stacie first approached me with Nancy’s dilemma, I envisioned my coaching friend, Beth, would partner with me, providing Buddy with life-changing equine-assisted learning work.  I had hoped we could collaborate on some programming, deepening my relationship with Buddy, moving from relationship building to more meaningful work.  Unfortunately, Beth was focused on other areas so purposeful coaching work was not in Buddy’s future.  

During our time together, Buddy would welcome my company, both coming up to the gate when I arrived and sticking his head over the fence when I left, almost as if to say “don’t go.”  While Buddy and I were growing in our relationship, I wasn’t feeling the same joyful connection with the people.  Suffice it to say that for someone who ran their own horse facility for over twenty years, it was challenging to understand a completely different interpretation of priorities when it came to running an equine establishment.  Because Wendy has been in the big money horse show world for over 35 years, whatever has worked for her is pretty much the way things were going to get done. 

In my journals there is a lot of self-reflection on my passivity.  Notes about how I didn’t want to be “that” boarder who asks to change things.  Because I had also had boarders, one, a friend, who definitely didn’t mind being “that” boarder, I think I was super sensitive to keeping my opinions to myself.  I also struggled with the power dynamic in the people who worked there, not clear who or where to go with my curiosities, questions, and concerns.  I felt like a square peg in a round hole. 

After three months of enjoying the connection between Buddy and I, I looked out into the future realizing I would be in Florida for two and half months, as well as visiting New Mexico frequently.  I determined it would be irresponsible for me to keep Buddy.  He wouldn’t have my companionship for a huge chunk of time and I’d just be writing checks, as well as relying on others to care for him, something I wasn’t confident would end well for Buddy. 

To say that Nancy was pissed at my decision is an understatement.  She was angry because she now had to rehome him again.  She didn’t understand why I couldn’t have anticipated my travel away from Buddy.  I guess I didn’t foresee the downsides that occurred.  I had gone into the relationship only focused on the upsides of having a horse again.  

My Buddy experience offered me a focused, intentional chunk of time spent in a communion with nature, my reflections, and as a seeker.  I was filled with gratitude for the relationship, connection, and physical presence of a beautiful, soulful, soft-eyed horse who in a short time reminded me of the grace and love horses generously offer.

My Buddy journal includes several references to seeing blue herons.  As I’m writing this, a blue heron is in my view just outside my window.  Appropriately,   the blue heron symbolizes patience, self-reliance, and quiet wisdom, representing a calm, independent approach to life's challenges, often seen as a spiritual messenger bridging earthly and divine realms. It signifies transformation, good fortune, and inner strength, embodying the ability to find clarity and navigate complex situations with grace, balance, and purpose.  

Recall a time when you joyfully experienced being in communion with another being or person.  Share some of the specifics of that encounter.

Have you been able to replicate the significant aspects of that joyful exchange in other relationships?  If yes, how?

What are there lessons from the aforementioned stories that you can purposefully integrate into future interactions? 

CREATIVITY

CREATIVITY

My Ph.D. program required that I be associated with an organization so that I would incorporate my learning in the “real world”.  When I was accepted into the program, I still did not know what to name the llc. that would serve me in name only until I graduated.  With this question secretly renting space in the back of my mind, one day I was listening to an NPR story while driving down M69 on the way to Lansing.  I recall the woman on the radio referring to a kaleidoscope.  This reference created a mental image of a cylinder-shaped toy with changing images as you turn the tube.  Aha!  A perfect metaphor to represent the work I would offer people.  I intended to create opportunities to turn/change the view of what my clients were looking at, to reframe their image in ways that served their desired outcomes.  Through partnering with horses, we could provide people with a new perspective that invited them to see a situation from a different vantage point.

As I shared in the introduction to this book, I named the company Kaleidoscope for the above reason.  I also didn’t want the company to bear my name.  I’m not completely sure of my aversion to it being called Weber something or something Weber.  Even now as I reflect on the name choice, I physically feel a sort of “ick factor” imagining Weber something as my company moniker. 

This is opposite position I held when I kept my maiden name.  I kept it BECAUSE I didn’t see “Tracy Weber” in “Mrs. William Hausbeck.”  Much to the chagrin of my in-laws.  The decision to stay Weber also confused my parents who were from a traditionalist generation where you did things the way you were expected.  Meaning, a married woman took the man’s name.   

As the first person in our immediate family to earn a college degree, I was living into the independence I experienced at college. I graduated from Michigan State University (MSU) one month prior to our January wedding.  My courses included a thematics in Women’s studies, so I knew that the historical significance of women taking the man’s name was because wives were considered property.  Property.  Let that sink in. 

We were married in 1985, a time when keeping your maiden name was rare.   Bill and I agreed that any children would bear the Hausbeck last name.  He and I even bounced around hyphens, though I decided that was more work than it was worth.  I also knew that I could change my last name at any time.  There is no moratorium on changing one’s name.

So, with a kaleidoscope as a perfect metaphor, how would the company name represent my potential career?   The only thing I knew for certain was equine-assisted services were going to be part of the delivery.  While many people, to this day, do not understand my languaging of “Kaleidoscope Learning Circle, llc.” often calling my business Kaleidoscope Learning Center, the words “Learning Circle” made sense to me.  Calling the llc. a “center” grounded us in just one location and in the beginning I had no way of knowing what the future might hold. 

I definitely wanted the word learning in the title, as learning is where growth happens.  Circle made sense, because it opened the business up to the possibility of creating other “circles”.  I imagined potential circles of influence in a variety of places.  A circle is also a powerful shape in facilitation.  We “circle-up” so that we are all equidistant to each other.  A round, closed circle also represents continuation – no clear beginning or end.

When Kaleidoscope was first created newspapers, radio, magazines, and television advertising were still the primary methods of marketing.  The internet was in its infancy, just emerging as a method of sharing one’s story.  My degree from MSU was in advertising, so I had expertise and enjoyed the creative process of crafting the pages for our website.  I worked with a company near me who could provide technical expertise, optimizing my written words and images.

Ellen, from the tech company, and I decided that the website address should be “myklc” to overcome the barrier of people being able to spell the word Kaleidoscope.  The site featured all the important elements, from “Why Horses” to a “BarnQuest” page with specific directions to the farm.  How to find us was important because at the time MapQuest was fairly new and prone to sending people to the west section of Rathbun Road, instead of the east which is where we were located.  Neither road was actually labeled east or west on the signage, further confusing people trying to find my big blue and white barn.  As is my style, I also included some pretty corny groaner puns throughout the website copy.  Lots of pictures and detailed information about upcoming programs filled multiple dropdowns.

My horse-head logo in a circle also emerged from a creative inspiration.  I was driving on M675 taking the exit onto I-75 when I looked up at a clear star-filled night sky.  In the sky was a bright white full moon.  The moon’s grey shadows created an outline of a horsehead facing right with a pointed ear, flowing mane, and strong neck reaching the bottom of the moon’s cylinder. 

I later discovered that the logo I created looked eerily like the barn logo from where I worked as a kid, JL’s Ranch and Saddlery. My subconscious brought the image to the surface, as even the colors of our two logos were similar.  I did not consciously plan to replicate my childhood farm branding.  Fortunately, JL’s was now PAL Enterprises, so there was no concern about my logo being a duplicate of JL’s.    

When it came time to detail my four-horse trailer, I worked with a local sign maker to make big swooshes reaching from the logo near the gooseneck to the back of the trailer, implying movement.  The multi-colored blue, purplish, and shiny silver magnetic tape changed color as light traveled down the wording and swirls.  Because the sides of the trailer were a beautiful billboard I used to park it on an angle of my parking lot, so that people travelling past the farm could see it clearly.

One of the most creative decisions we made when building the barn was a suggestion by Sara, who helped me design, plan, and create the space that became Kaleidoscope.  The top half of all our stalls were bright blue powder-coated bars. Light and draft size horses appreciate being able to see out of the slated barriers.   Sara suggested we turn the front door on the miniatures stall upside down so that the bars would be on the bottom.  Because Mickey and Minnie were not tall enough to see the over the top half of the door, we flipped the door upside down, giving them a window to the world outside their 10’ x 12’ stall. 

Being “creative” is emotional.  It requires a level of confidence that acknowledges there will be those who do not agree, support, or even understand.  When I’m actively in the process of creating, there is exploration, confusion, and frustration.  My friend, Shannon calls this space, “hell in the hallway”.  Where one door has closed and the other has yet to open.  Staying in the hallway until the door opens is simply part of the journey going forward, getting through the middle to the other side.   

In reflecting on all of the creative decisions mentioned above, the common thread is that when I sense a congruence, an alignment, I can live with whatever choice I am making.  When I land on a place where I can allow for others to understand or not, then the hallway door has opened. 

For me, the birth of creative projects, such as this book, brings with it a soul-fulfilling juice, a lifeforce that lights me up when I get it right.  Creative expression is an embodiment of both my head and heart.  While my favorite place in the world is in partnership with horses or now spending time with my grandson, tapping into creative energy and channeling an emerging future is right up there on the list of what makes life worth living!      

Recall a time when your creative approach led to the result you desired.

How do you physically feel when you’re being creative?  Describe the sensations in your body.

What can you do to commit to more creativity in your life? 

POTENTIAL

POTENTIAL2

When Randy asked me to marry him in 2012 my Large Munsterländer (a German pheasant dog), Desi, was already twelve years old.  Her half-sister, Cirena, was filled with cancer at the age of twelve, so I imagined that in the two years before our wedding in 2014 that Dez would travel a similar life path.  Once she passed, I would be at a cross-roads with the farm, figuring out what to do with the remaining live animals and the property.  Until that time, I planned to continue as I had, taking care of the property, offering limited programming, and staying active in the community.  Oh, yea, and planning a wedding!    

I couldn’t sell the property as long as Desi was living because she couldn’t move with me to my husband’s home.  First of all, it wouldn’t be fair to her. She was already losing her vision and hearing, was weak in her hips, and had accidents in the house.  Additionally, she shed.  A lot.  Between her and my daughter’s French Brittney, Kahlua, we’d often have bundles of rolling black, white, and brown dog hair in the kitchen!

When Randy and I got married in October 2014 my “Blessed Purgatory” began.  I was blessed because I had the assets to keep the farm.  The purgatory was that I was stuck in a limbo of my own making.  Paying and caring for a farm/business that I wasn’t growing.  I akin it the COVID lock-down, where there was not a definitive end in sight.     

Recognizing that eventually Desi would cross the rainbow bridge, I began the arduous task of cleaning out twenty years of living in the same place.  One-by-one I cracked open each book from my many bookshelves, deciding whether I would ever open it again.  Because I take notes in my books, a hundred or so made the move to town with me, while a similar number didn’t make the cut.  Instead they were put in boxes for donation to the local library.

I lived through all the stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) with each new box of folders from my Kaleidoscopian file cabinets.  Reliving over twenty years of successful programs and failed efforts was emotionally draining.  I jokingly call myself an “archivist” instead of a “hoarder”, the truth being somewhere in-between.  

In between moving into my now husband’s home in Frankenmuth literally one Jeep load at a time, I sought ways to channel my creative energy.  I searched for something to offset the draining emotional bandwidth of reliving the past.  Something with potential to bring my values to life. Ever a lover of learning and research, I embarked on a quest to identify what else I could do with my property.  I hired a very talented creative local guy named James.  James is a kind soul who respected this crazy lady’s dream of creating something so unique that we couldn’t find a duplicate of anywhere in the world.  He supported me in crafting language, identifying target markets, with appropriate, measurable goals, and creating a beautiful logo I wish I could use someday.  This thought activity was very expensive in terms of both time and money. It was also expensive in terms of social capital, as I shared the story far and wide, to garner support and learn about people’s reactions. 

Here's some of the copy I wrote:

Kaleidoscope Ranch is an enriching environment for both the animals that live here and the visitors that wish they did! Experience our living farm museum environment inviting you and your family to engage with nature, exploring the culture and historical period from 1865-1895.   The “Old West” of saloons, honkey tonks, and a trading post meets Michigan’s lumbering era as you travel from the outside to the inside of our barn.  Our themed and enriched horse, goat, rabbit, chicken and duck homes are central to a Kaleidoscope Ranch experience.

Our mission:  Kaleidoscope Ranch is a place to visit, explore, and enjoy. We help families and visitors reconnect with the wisdom of animals and agriculture through fun moments of learning. Just like the kaleidoscope in our name, we strive to make each visit to our ranch a unique combination of beauty, energy, and reflection

At Kaleidoscope Ranch, we uniquely blend the world of animals and humans, leveraging the best of both for the brief time you are together.  See the world through the eyes of our critters, where there is no religion, no class or management system only the way you are in relationship with them in that moment.  We are experts in creating experiences, events, programs, and activities that invite you to be fully present in the moment, having fun, learning something relevant about yourself and others, and providing a memorial, sometimes life-changing, new awareness.

I dreamt up all sorts of unique experiences, packages, events, and gatherings.  My lifetime of event planning and party throwing was packed into the 12.27 acres on Rathbun Road. One of the most unique aspects Randy and I researched was purchasing a railroad car.  A near-by town used to have an attraction called Junction Valley Railroad.  As an homage to my Dad whose work on the railroad put me through college and so much more, I imagined a railcar on property.  Unfortunately (or fortunately as it turned out) we were unable to secure one. 

I planned to offer events such as “Feed the Soul and the Bellies Breakfast”.  The gist of this offering was to invite families to help feed all the critters, followed by a shared gourmet breakfast that was partially prepared by my guests.  I imagined strangers becoming friends over family-style meals. 

My tree-line of pine trees would be cleared to create “PoeTrees” where visitors could discover laminated weather-proof poems, selected by my friend, Faith, inviting people to appreciate nature.  We’d scatter them through the trees, creating a sanctuary with benches, fairies, and other woodland creatures.

Kaleidoscope Ranch was purposefully designed to be experienced with or without a guide.  For a guided tour, which includes silly jokes, hands-one experience with the animals of your choice (we reserved the right to deny access to certain animals based on the circumstances), and a snack at the end of the tour.  Why stop at just an experiential nature-based amusement family destination?  Nope.  This girl added “taking it on the road” as an option. 

This thought experiment included detailed information on a potential website with a FAQ, group sales, memberships, planning your visit, volunteers AND (of course!) required volunteer training.  I was so detailed that I included facts about responding to a volunteer request within three days.  I even met with a friend, former classmate, Mike, whose business is to create signage in American braille.  I went so far as to become a member of the Michigan Agritourism.  My listing optimistically shouted “coming soon”. 

Yup.  I poured my heart and soul into this.  As I reflect on that commitment (overcommitment?) I would assess that my behavior was a coping mechanism.  Always a dreamer, creator, believer in possible futures, this investment kept me “in” something and probably “out” of some trouble.  One piece of advice I share with people in transition is to not just go away from a thing (such as a job or a relationship), that it is healthier to have/create a thing to go towards. 

Those who love me, Randy, my accountant, friends, appreciated my enthusiasm and supported the dream – the potential.  Those who never understood (and probably still don’t) the “horse thing” I’m sure had a different story.  Probably thought I was out of my freakin’ mind! 

I ultimately decided that Kaleidoscope Ranch had more risk than potential when I looked at the venture from a perspective that showed me the bigger picture.  It was as if I had finally turned a kaleidoscope, the bits and pieces falling into place, creating the view that showed me the totality of the investment this unproven endeavor would require of me – lots of money, huge staffing requirements, animal husbandry, and so much more!

Once you know something, you can’t unknow it unless you are in denial.  So, knowing what I did, I now faced the inner work of pride to explore a dream versus the shame of not following through.  As I write this nearly a decade later, I still see the potential the Ranch could have offered people for real connection with each other, their loved ones, and nature.  Something the world craves now more than ever!

I started living part-time at Randy’s while Desi was still alive after hiring Happy K’9’s to watch her when we wintered in Florida for the months of January through March.  With Nick from Happy K’9’s taking care of her three times daily, not actually living with her, I experientially discovered she would be okay without me there every night.

Desi finally took her last breath on October 14, 2018 at the ripe old age of 18 years, 10 months, and 14 days.  She left this world unable to stand, see, or hear.  She was able to try to bite our vet, Glen, as he gave her the shot that ended her life.  Desi wasn’t about to let someone limit her potential if she could help it!      

Recall a time when you saw the potential in an idea.  What actions did you take to pursue it?  What did you learn along the way?

Reflecting on the time above, can you name how you’ve incorporated those learnings into your life today?

Is there something in the future that you’d like to explore further that has potential?  What is it and what are your next steps?