THE END IS THE NEW BEGINNING
Drew, my accountant, invited me to provide a training day for him and his staff of six women. One of the best compliments a small business owner can get is to have a stakeholder or supplier hire you for your services. Equine-Assisted Learning (EAL) puts all of the participants in a very vulnerable spot because of its’ experiential nature. We’re not a cookie cutter program that is “teaching” a process for more effective communication. We create opportunities for people to “fail” and learn from those mistakes with our horse partners. We then help our clients discover and commit to actions that transfer those lessons back to their workplace. Authentic leaders are willing to put themselves in this exposed environment so that they can learn and grow. Their new insights offer opportunities to make impactful changes to themselves and their organizations.
One of our favorite activities for humans and horses is to invite the humans to build a course for the horses to go through. PVC pipes, colorful pool noodles, orange traffic cones, and other horse-safe stuff. Drew’s dad, W. Don, who started the firm, was retiring at the end of the year. The path we invited Drew and his team to make was to represent a future without W. Don at the helm.
We explained that for the first five minutes they could talk and plan what they were going to do. After the five minutes, if they talked or touched a horse there would be a consequence. Sara and I explained that they are the ones to decide the consequence. The rules were that whatever they decided would have to be done here and now. It needed to be able to be done multiple times, in case they broke the rules more than once. Lastly, they were asked if only the offender would be doing the consequence or if the whole group would be. After a little discussion, they decided that it would be a whole group consequence, reasoning that they were here today for team building and being accountable to all would support them reaching that goal. The consequence would be jumping jacks. We asked how many? Three.
They spent five minutes of planning reviewing all of the toys. After the planning phase, they entered the arena with the horses and starting laying out the pvc pipes, cones, hula hoops in two parallel lines. Even though my horses have seen these same props many times, Chalie curiously sniffed some toys. Diva moved around the arena, checking out the toys and people, tempting them to engage more with her. Tigger couldn’t be bothered, she just stood watching the work, patiently waiting to see what would happen next.
The group worked together, using some the pool noodles like an extension of their arms creating pressure which moved the Charle through the path. When he got through to the end all of people turned to look at Sara and I as if to say, “We did it. Now what” Yet, not one person actually said anything, so we didn’t either.
Not getting the reaction they sought from us, they all kind of shrugged and got back to work trying to get Diva and/or Tigger through the path. Tigger wasn’t having any of it. She really doesn’t move unless it’s her idea or she’s enticed through pressure, food, or another incentive such as fear. D was more willing and responded, like Charlie did, to the noodle pressure; she moved from one end of the path to the other. Again the group looked at us, the facilitators, and again, nobody said anything. Once again, we didn’t either. They shrugged and got back to work. This repeated itself a few more times.
Sara and I whispered to each other checking in to make sure we were in agreement that we shouldn’t save them or interrupt their process. Our instincts were that the learning was happening in the struggle of their being uncomfortable. They KNEW they had accomplished the goal, yet here they were, repeating the activity over and over because we hadn’t acknowledged it.
Finally, it was approaching lunch time. I called Drew and his team into a circle and asked what just happened. They explained that they completed the task and were waiting for us to tell them they were done. I inquired, why didn’t they ask us? They said because we told them they couldn’t talk. No, we explained, they couldn’t talk without a consequence. Meaning, if they talked and it meant they broke the rule they would have had to do three jumping jacks. If they talked and we didn’t think that a rule was being broken, no jumping jacks. In other words, had they asked us if they were done they would have been done with the activity about forty-five minutes ago.
We asked them how the horses responded to the activity. They noted that Tigger didn’t really move much. We all laughed. D and Charlie were willing to go through the path when they used the noodles as wands. We dug deeper and asked if the horses seemed upset or bothered by repeatedly going through the path. Mary acknowledged that they seemed more bored than frustrated. We shared with them that the horse’s behavior, of being calm and present, was an indicator or their organizational culture. That because they weren’t frustrated or irritated by the repeating of the activity, the horses read that energy and that’s why they were also calm and simply kept doing what they were asked. We shared that we’ve worked other groups, such as a sales team, that is driven by effective and timely results. Because a sales culture is high energy, we’ve witnessed horses running all over the place to the point of becoming dangerous.
The big take-away for the group was that their world, as accountants and financial advisors, was to work independently with established deadlines set by the state and federal governments. Now that Drew would be in charge, he would have to step into that new role. Over lunch we brainstormed various ways to support Drew in the transition.
A couple of their key lessons learned were that they didn’t clearly define “success” at the outset, so they didn’t know when or if they achieved it. That they need to think more about the actual “consequences” and evaluate whether takings risks are worth it. They acknowledged that individuals made many, and different assumptions, yet did not take any action to confirm or deny those assumptions. They also thought if they didn’t get caught, it did not count. Lastly, they acknowledged they fell into “group think” and subjugated their individual needs (bored, restless, confusion) rather than risk the “consequence”. What they realized was if they weren’t careful and paying attention, that they could be wasting time and resources if they didn’t step back and take a look at the bigger picture.
They came up with seven action plans to transfer the learning. These included having regular staff meetings where they could all come together to share goals and challenges. Each of them established SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound) goals, holding each other accountable for reaching them.
Life – not just human life – all life is a series of cycles. Sometimes endings are clear, planned, and expected. Other times they are sudden, not recognized at the time as an ending. In either case they may be welcomed or unwelcomed. Regardless, an ending is only half of the equation, there is also a new beginning.
Share a time when you welcomed an ending of something even though you were scared or uncertain about a new beginning?
What lessons have you learned from that experience and how does it inform your life decision-making now?
Can you think of a future experience where you can leverage your new found awareness to improve a situation, circumstance, or event?