PLEASURE
One by one individuals’ cars and trucks flew up the gravel driveway kicking up dust. We could hear the “beep beep’s,” through the open windows as they locked their doors. They entered through one of two doors into the conference room. Stacie and I welcomed them by motioning toward the table piled with baked goods, protein bars, fresh fruit, and string cheese. We invited them to grab a cup of coffee, tea, or hot chocolate. The black chalkboard fridge announced in colorful multi-colored chalk the types of cold soft drinks and juices available inside it.
The group milled around getting acquainted with each other when I announced we’d be starting soon. An older gentleman approached me asking where he might find a restroom.
‘First door on the left outside this door”, I stated pointing to the door on my left. “Be sure to lock it so you don’t get company.” I quipped.
He smiled as he strode towards the door I indicated. A few minutes later he reentered the conference room with a puzzled look on his face. Knowing the cause for his confusion, I looked at him and said,
“Because I can.”
He chuckled and moved toward the butterhorns and apple strudel.
Next, we heard a car door slam and a young lady entered from the parking lot. She approached Stacie and I as we started distributing release forms and pens. She asked for a restroom as the rest of our guests were topping off their coffee and grabbing a last plate of food.
When she returned from the restroom, she squared up her shoulders and announced to the group, who were now heads down reading and completing the release forms,
“Why, pray tell, is there a horse head in the shower?” she inquired.
The gentleman who used the restroom earlier, beat me to the punchline by confidently stated, “because she can.” grinning from ear-to-ear.
Most people swiveled their heads, puzzled by the exchange, not yet in on the joke.
The gentleman explained. I walked into the bathroom and headed toward the toilet on the back wall. After finishing my business, I turned around to find a brown life-sized horsehead sticking out of the bronze and gold cloth shower curtain.
I jumped in to further explain.
“In the hallway on the way to the arena, you’ll find Kaleidohorse, a life-size horse with a multi-colored kaleidoscope design on the barrel side of his body. We take him with us to exhibits and trade shows.”
Laughing, I told them “He’s what we call and “easy keeper”.
Soft chuckles could be heard as I continued, “He really draws attention to our booth or display, since he’s usually the only horse in the building.
The horsehead is because when my husband, Randy, suggested I buy this life-size horse. I originally said, “No” because he was $1,000. These fiberglass horses are used to display tack, such as saddles or harnesses for western stores or other stores selling horse equipment. At first, I didn’t appreciate Randy’s vision for how Kaleidohorse could be used to tell the Kaleidoscope story, drawing curious people into our space.
One day, I stopped into a tack store in the Thumb of Michigan that was going out of business. After picking up a variety of half-off helmets, and other bargins, I spotted the horse head. I called my husband, asking him,
“Hey Randy, if a whole horse is $1,000. What do you think just the head is worth?”
We both laughed. A clerk overheard my conversation, then offered,
“Well, this one is for sale for $50 bucks”.
“Sold” I replied.
Now, what do you do with a horse head that we didn’t need to display a halter or bridle? Then, like a lightening bolt, it hit me.
I tucked him in the corner of the half-circle shaped shower, so he’s peeking out of the side. Realizing when women entered the room they’d sit down and be greeted by him. More entertaining still, would be the men who most likely would have their backs to him until they turned around. I threatened to add a motion detector sensor so that he could say something clever. Though I never created a “Mr. Ed” or taking horse, I have had fun when people, like you folks today, get to meet him for the first time.
On a more serious note, part of the reason there is horsehead in the shower is because it being there sets a tone. It says that we’re here to work and also to have fun. It’s simple, yet intentional.
Sometimes pleasure comes into your life as a surprise or unintentional. A unexpected connection that one didn’t anticipate or see coming. I was fortunate to experience the joy of this accidental? synchronicity when Nicole from Detroit Horse Power invited me to meet with a new barn partner they were considering using for a future program.
The meeting between Nicole, Deb, and I started with Deb and I connecting over our shared, and different, interactions with the people and approaches in equine-assisted industry. We discovered that we have similar Meyer’s Briggs personality styles. She is an ENFP and I’m an ENFJ, meaning we can easily find things in common because we share similar world views and values.
Nicole was visibly loving our shared experiences. She told us she wished she could take all our stories and make them her own, learning from our numerous equine interactions. The back-and-forth between Deb and I was so natural. For example, I made the comment that my team and I often say “You can’t make this sh*t” up”. She laughed, sharing that one of her co-facilitators, Betsy, says “Yaka Ma Soo” meaning the same thing!
The most pleasurable part of our interaction was when we moved beyond the boardroom to the pasture. Once Nicole made her good-byes, warmly giving us both hugs; Deb asked me if I’d like to meet her herd. I told her I never say no to “petting a pony” so she opened the gate to her five geldings. The curious boys made their way up from the back of the pasture to check me out. The bay pinned his ears to ward off the pinto when he tried to enter my space, indicating that he was higher in the herd. Deb shared the history of each of the horses, while attentively watching to make sure they behaved or at least did not create a dangerous situation.
She then invited me to go through the slated white fence to a pasture where three mares and a gelding were grazing. Looking at her newly mowed pasture, we randomly talked about the joys of cutting grass. A simple accomplishment that got us outside, away from a computer, and enjoying nature. We laughed about how as entrepreneurs and horse owners, the range and variety of “hats” we were required to wear.
The next thing I knew a gelding purposefully came straight towards me. I asked Deb what his behavior meant. She countered with “well, what did it mean to you?” That’s when I realized I was being facilitated. It was EXACTLY what I automatically did with people when I had my farm and herd. I would invite future collaborators, partners, to say “hello’ to the herd with the intent of learning what my horses could tell me about them. People can tell you one thing - the horses will always they tell you the truth!
The gelding moved on when one of the mares pushed him away from me, seeking scratches. I gently began scratching her withers. I told Deb about how much I was enjoying hearing from past participants while researching my essay project. That the feedback was so affirming to learn after years had gone by, they still found their equine-assisted experience with me as rewarding and memorable. Deb then pointed out that the mare was licking and chewing. A physical sign that I was being congruent with my actions and words. Affirming my thoughts as true. WoW, I thought to myself, this is why I Love this work so much.
Even though I was feeling as though we could easily talk for another three hours, I decided it was time to get home. We made our way out of the pasture, through the gate. Standing next to my Jeep, we were saying our good-byes when I shared one last story with Deb. I told her that my daughter and grandson were recently visited and I was disappointed in the minuscule amount of time that I had with him. Deb looked across the driveway, directing me to witness that her three brood mares had chosen to face me instead of grazing. She shared she believed their behavior was affirming that my feelings were correct. Validating that I’d need to have a conversation with my daughter in the future to determine if there was something more going on that I was missing.
From horse heads in a shower, to being open to new relationships, pleasure is packaged many different ways. When a person stays open, intentionally seeking connection, the world responds. And if you’re really fortunate, a horse or two might share their perspective too!
Recall a time when you were pleasantly surprised by an unexpected gesture, gift, or reaction.
Why was your response unanticipated? What were the circumstances that helped support the surprise reaction?
Going forward, is there an action or behavior you can commit to that will support more positive surprises and results?