SENSE OF PURPOSE

SENSE OF PURPOSE

Women Leaders in the late 1990’s was a radical idea.  Bringing together female professional leaders for monthly lunches to learn, connect, and network was not common. It replicated what many of our male peers took for granted and was considered by some men to be bold and threatening. 

Angelica, the founder of Women Leaders, was a county Chamber of Commerce Vice- President.  She knew the power that could be wielded through women deepening their trust in relationships.  She and two of her sisters held very influential positions in our county governance.  Those connections provided actionable responses to problems that in other circumstances might take longer to occur or possibly not develop.

Several members of WL encouraged me to connect with another member, Beth.  Beth was a life coach, something also pretty new in the 90’s.  I was told she shared my passion for helping people live into their best versions of themselves.  Beth had also been informed by members that she would enjoy meeting me.   

One lunch meeting we found each other – hugged, laughed, and a lifelong friendship was born.  Sitting next to each other that day, in between bites of a seasoned chicken breast, wild rice, and green beans almondine, we brainstormed about providing an introduction to Equine-Assisted Learning.  The women’s series, Seasons of Change was born.  We originally planned to offer four evening sessions from 6-9 p.m. 

Spring:  The Season of New Life.  What is the “something new in your life that you’d like to explore more deeply?  Are you in a new role at home or work?  Was there a recent change in your responsibilities as a wife, mother, sister, or friend?  During our time together we will explore the birth or rebirth happening in your life and we will fertilize and prepare your soul to help you grow and blossom.

Summer:  Brings Warmth.  Chapters in our lives sometimes possess a summer quality – longer periods of natural light, where we wish we could press a “pause” button to hold onto the moment forever.  During our time together, we identify the foundations of the “summer” qualities of our lives, mapping out ways to create more of what brings us the warmth and fun.  

Autumn:  Harvest the joys of Autumn.  The rich colors of trees changing and garden’s bounty dance in oranges, yellows, and reds:  feeding us now and into the gray winter months.  Are you embracing the fruits of your efforts and sharing the bounty with others?  During our time together we will identify our behaviors that serve us and our purpose.  Through harvesting your brilliance, you support all you see to grow and nurture for yourself and those you love.

Winter:  Welcome Hibernation.  This program focuses on the power and necessity of hibernation, going within to strengthen your ability to reach out.  You may experience a time in your life where “recharging” I what fulfills you.  During our time together we will identify practices that help you find your center and offer rest for our often overworked and stressed out mind and body.  

Because busy, professional women are busy being professional and mom’s/wives/daughters, etc.; ultimately, we held one session, Summer.  The timing best worked for eight interested participants.  Together, Beth, Stacie, and I crafted the agenda, planned meals, and prepared for a intro to both my work and Beth’s coaching facilitation.     

Our group gathered at my farm and following the standard introductory activities, we moved to the activity of reflective roundpenning. We chose this activity to introduce our participants to pressure, asking, and intention.  The focus was on creating movement of the horse to represent movement in your life in areas that you desire. 

I, and the other participants gathered around the outside of the pen.  Stacie went into the circle where Diva was patiently waiting.  She demonstrated moving Diva around the inside edge of the pen by positioning her body toward her hind quarters.  She focused her energy, faced her with her gently raised her arms, putting pressure on her as an ask to move forward. She walked off slowly, so Stacie increased the pressure by moving closer, asking her to pick up speed.  She started to trot.  Stacie waved her arms adding even more pressure, so Diva begrudgingly began to canter.  After she moved into the canter, Stacie rewarded her behavior by stepping back and releasing the pressure. 

After a short time of her cantering to the right, Stacie shifted her body, turning Diva now to circle to the left.  Having done this countless times, Stacie demonstrated a beautiful dance, with Diva simply doing what she was asked, not showing any frustration.  When Stacie completely took the pressure off, Diva turned toward her and walked into the center of the pen to meet her.  She had “joined up” with her, recognizing her respectful leadership.  

After the demonstration of roundpenning, Janet volunteered to be our first participant.  We opened the gate and she entered.  Diva, ears pointed forward in interest, waited in the center of the arena.  Janet moved toward her, placing her hand below her nose to allow her to sniff it. She then tried to mimic what she witnessed what Stacie had so easily demonstrated. 

 Janet waived her arms and hands trying to get Miss D to the edge of the round pen.  The mare stood firm, not responding to her frantic arm movements.  Janet continued to flap her arms, adding whooshing sounds to the activity.  Diva tilted her head quizzically, looked over at Stacie and I standing outside the roundpen, as if to say, “What in the world does this human want from me?”  Stacie and I both quietly chuckled.  Diva was famous for helping people learn exactly what they needed to, often surprising us and our clients.   

 Janet was clearly getting frustrated by Diva’s lack of interest; Janet tried backing up and running toward the horse trying to get her to move.  After several charging attempt without success, our participant turned and looked at Stacie and I, shrugged as if to say she was giving up.  Our rule was that you don’t help someone unless they verbally ask, even though we could tell by her demeanor that she was wanting for our help.  Waiting patiently, or holding space, for a client to verbally make a request is a powerful facilitative approach; it supports helping people practice asking for what they want, instead of assuming.  It was at this moment that Diva literally turned around and faced the corner, ignoring Janet completely!

Stace and I now stood as firmly as Diva had, mirroring that Janet was best served by making her intention clear.  Janet sighed and then in a very emotional voice,

 “What am I doing wrong? Why can’t I get her to move?”

 I replied, “You’re not clear in your communication with her.  Remember the part where Stacie pointed her energy at Diva’s hind quarter, then released the pressure when she got the desired result.  You’re not aiming your energy in a way she understands.  It might help if you grounded yourself, clearly identifying your intention, however that looks for you.”

 Janet walked to the center of the roundpen and then took the power pose. Diva was enthralled, and turned back from the corner, facing Janet and curious what she was doing.

 Janet stood quietly for a minute, still facing us and turned away from Diva.  She closed her eyes.  Took a deep breath.  Then, she opened her eyes, turned towards Diva, raising her arms in an action-figure power pose, pointing her pelvis towards Diva’s rear quarter. D understood the request.  She started as a gentle trot and then broke into a full gallop running around the pen!  Janet continued her power pose, aiming her energy at Diva, standing in the middle, slowing turning.   

 After Diva traveled around the path three full times, Janet lowered her arms. This brought Diva to a stop.  The mare turned to face Janet, took a deep breath, then walked toward her.  Janet patted her muscled neck, thanking her for the experience. She whispered something softly to the horse that none of us could hear, while tears spilled down her cheeks. She wiped them away with a sleeve while exiting the roundpen.  Our next participant, Dawn patted Janet’s shoulder as they passed each other going through the gate. 

 While Stacie and I debriefed what the experience with the rest of the group; Beth noticed that Janet was quietly sobbing in a corner.  Beth approached her, putting her hand gently on her back.  She leaned closer, then softly asked, what are you feeling?   Janet sighed deeply the turned to face Beth.  Both looked deeply into each other’s eyes, when Janet spoke from her heart telling  Beth,

 “I’d forgotten how powerful I am.”

 Have you ever had a time where you forgot how powerful you are or you gave away your power?

 What action did you take to reclaim your power?

 Is there a situation now that you’d like to be more powerful in?  What action will you take to make that happen, regardless of the consequences?         

CONTACT

CONTACT

The freshly dragged area, with beautiful concentric circles, looked inviting.  The double back doors were pushed to the edge of their tracks, as wide open as possible, inviting fresh air into the arena.  They were open to air-out the smell of cat poop, since our barn cats used the arena as one of the world’s largest kitty litter boxes.  Dragging the arena brought their firm little turds to the surface creating an odiferous atmosphere. 

As we set up the roundpen for tomorrow’s program, Tam noticed some paw prints in the newly combed arena.  We assumed they belonged to my Large Munsterländer, Desi.  Deaf, with cataracts clouding her sight, and frail she shuffled her black and white long-haired self around looking for me.  She was 17 years young now and prone to wandering outside of the invisible fence. She was no longer deterred by the shock or the noise from the fence, so would regularly travel around the yard outside the fence’s perimeter.  Fortunately, the road was a long way away. Typically, we would discover that she had wandered before she got to the road, so we could nudge her back toward the house.  Usually, she would turn on her own, meandering slowly back to safety. 

The next morning, we finished up the final details in preparing for our program.  This program was pretty low key.  It was a demonstration for a cross-section of people who did not know each other, though each had expressed an interest in possibly hiring Kaleidoscope for their business, club, or organization.  Today’s group included someone from a bank, someone from a local chamber of commerce, a representative from a computer company, and a couple of horse people that were curious about EAL. 

In a two- and half-hour demo we often witnessed exchanges with the horses that years later people would tell me had a great impact.  It might have been as simple as a horse that wouldn’t move when asked, representing something in their life where they felt stuck.  When the person changed the way they asked, they invited forward movement.  Or it might have been a limiting belief, or assumption, that became clear when we debriefed the activity.  Bringing people from diverse backgrounds together, we balanced our time together by creating a shared experience, as well as an individual opportunity for awareness. These experiences validated the Tae Te Ching quote, “When the student if ready, the teacher appears.”

After finishing up in the conference room, we decided to let the horses out early. Diva and Al were first.  They ran around bucking and kicking, which was pretty normal for these two.  So, Tam and I left the arena, headed back to the stalls; I grabbed Tigger, while Tam brought in Mick and Min. 

When we returned to the arena, D and Al were still running.  This was unusual, because by now, they typically would have settled down to roll, enjoying the arena footing. 

Tam and I gave each other concerned looks.  Then, Tam suggested that maybe the paw prints didn’t belong to Desi.  Maybe they were from a coyote.  Tam recently saw a mangy coyote in my backyard when she was helping me with Desi, Kahlua, and Bella (my three dogs) while I was away on a business trip. 

Whether it was a coyote or not didn’t really matter, because it wasn’t here now.  This was a perceived danger by the horses.  Their sense of smell told them that as a prey animal, they had recently been in close proximity of a predator which could mean death. 

We decided to go ahead and release the remaining horses. Since Tigger was the lead mare, she could potentially calm everyone down through her reaction.  Tigg, Mick, and Min joined in the fray for a few minutes until Tigg realized there was no actual danger, so she stopped running.  The others witnessed her behavior, quickly decided it was safe, settling down.  They had no reason to get away.

This experience of a perceived danger reminded me of another demo program.  This demo was to introduce the two decision makers of a youth leadership program being provided through a local community college. 

Joyce was petite Caucasian woman in her late 50’s.  Ethel was a Black, averaged size woman, in her late 40’s.  Both had Ph.D.’s, were highly accomplished in their individual fields, working for the college.  Ethel, the director of the program delivering the leadership institute, hoped I’d bring horses to the college campus.   She was enamored with the showmanship and “Wow Factor” of horses on campus.  She was confident she could convince the President of the college that we could safely deliver EAL experiences with no risk to the students or damage to the campus grounds.      

We invited them to halter Tigger, as an introductory activity.  Tigger, was standing quietly by the gate, while Mickey and Minney wandered a bit in the arena sniffing the props strewn around.  The four of us, Ethel, Joyce, Stacie and I, opened the squeaky gate, entering the pen.  Ethel immediately stopped, turned to Joyce, Stacie, and me, declaring, “She doesn’t like me.”

There being no physical indication of dislike, such as pinned ears or leaving our space, I asked Ethel what made her think Tigger didn’t like her. 

Ethel explained that she just “felt it.” 

We shared with her that if Tigger really didn’t like her, or the situation, she would leave.  It was her choice to stay with us.  Because Tiggs didn’t leave, there wasn’t any evidence to support her claim of being disliked. 

We then shared that if she believed she was disliked in this situation without evidence, it was possible that she was creating the same story of rejection in human interactions.  While this insight was exactly what Ethel desired for the students, it was a much more uncomfortable experience to face her own limiting beliefs. 

Ethel acknowledged that there may have been times when she assumed she was disliked.  Without confirming that belief, she would remove herself from the situation, a perceived form of social danger, rather than move into the environment with curiosity. 

She outwardly expressed confidence, agency, and leadership.  She, and we, learned that day, there were deeper levels to her outward courage.  It was, sometimes, a cover for fear of a perceived danger of rejection. 

P.S.  We got the job and for nearly twenty consecutive years took horses to the local college campus!

When has an invisible threat influenced a choice you made?

How did it impact the situation and your beliefs?

Do you still hold that belief?  If you wanted to change it, what actions would you take? 

UNSTUCK

UNSTUCK

I finished putting out the last of the baked goods, including a “big donut” on the table next to the granola bars, string cheese, and yogurt.  This yummy treat was size of a regular paper plate covered in chocolate frosting with multi-colored sprinkles.  The guests from a county board began entering the conference room.  Fourteen of our board members and our Executive Director, JoAnn, would be spending the morning and early afternoon together. 

I’d been a part of this board for six years (ultimately eighteen).  As an organization, we were at a crossroads, so I offered to facilitate an Equine-Assisted Learning experience to:

1)      Celebrate 25 years – acknowledge past successes

2)      Increase engagement of board members & stakeholders

3)      Identify sustainable funding

4)      Develop a plan for focused marketing efforts

5)      Create a future vision for the organization

The board was made up of a cross-section of individuals from Saginaw County.  Ranging from education, to manufacturing, and business leaders who cared about our mission, which was, “to increase the achievement and employability skills of Saginaw County’s youth.  Area students benefited from the focused efforts by the Partnership’s board members, volunteers, and staff.  They accessed specialty designed programs and services that are used by nearly 12,000 eighth through twelfth grade students throughout Saginaw County.”

For the morning session, we interwove horse and non-horse activities keeping the group engaged.  For example, the results from the pre-assessment helped ground the group, connecting people by learning more about each individual, the gifts they brought to the board, and why they were part of this community.

After a delicious western lunch of pulled pork, baked beans, cornbread with all the fixings, from a local butcher shop we experientially explored the future of the organization.  The purpose of the activity was to identify possible challenges and solutions through partnering with the horses.  The horse-safe resources, such as cones, pvc pipes, and pool noodles, were used as metaphors for what we, as an organization, would need to get over, go through, or go around. Each board member was invited to identify their role, stating how they would be supporting JoAnn and her staff. 

The horses were at liberty in the front pasture with the pile of resources near the gate.  The horses would represent stakeholders or clients moving through the services and programs offered by the organization.  The written instructions explained that they could use lead ropes if it mirrored the situation.  Meaning, was the client, student, council member, etc. a connected partner, not someone who could/would make the choice to leave.

The group moved into the pasture to investigate the resources.  Then, they returned to the conference area, gathering around the flip chart.  Tammy led the conversation, drawing out different areas the board identified as key to our success. 

Jason, Patti, and Julie would create an area representing possible State funding.  These board members had been involved the longest and were the most familiar with working with governmental agencies.  Meanwhile, Julio, Tim, and Samantha would create something that represented the schools and their superintendents in the county.  James, Gabe, and Katie would build a space that symbolized the business community.  The remaining board members would have less specific roles, seeking to support and help where they thought it was needed.  JoAnn would be charged with moving the horse(s) through these spaces as she determined with in the best interest of the organization. 

One main objective was to shift the burden from the staff to the volunteer board.  Historically, JoAnn would take too much on and those non-deadline related business development areas, such as marketing, would fall off, remaining untapped or leveraged.  This organizational behavior let to additional chasing after grant dollars, creating a vicious cycle we were determined to break.

When the ten minutes we allotted for their planning was coming to an end, I asked by a show of thumbs up, level, or down, indicating whether everyone believed they understood their roles and agreed with the plan.  Fourteen thumbs pointed toward the ceiling meant we could get started with the activity. 

Stacie and I stood off to the side, watching the people grab different props, moving toward their pre-determined areas in the open field.  It was a near-perfect Michigan June day, with a light breeze.  One thing that was interesting was how far apart they built each of the different sections, one for government, one for education, and one for business.  They were so far apart, it clearly was going to be a challenge, for anybody, to get a horse to move easily between them.  We had just identified our first debriefing question, what was the thought process of making this so difficult?  Importantly, did it represent reality?

Once everyone seemed satisfied with their space, JoAnn moved toward the horse closest to her, trying to catch Charlie to put a halter on him.  He quietly, in his Mr. Brown no-I-am-not interested way, slowly moved away from her pressure.  We questioned JoAnn about the use of the lead rope, affirming that the client she chose was indeed someone who was connected to the organization.  She affirmed that they decided to start with someone who was already committed and willing to help us succeed.   

Stacie turned to me, commenting,

“You know, they spent almost all their planning time on the course, not much of it talking about which horse(s) to use and why.”

“That’s really interesting”, I replied.  Think about the importance of identifying the right client or stakeholder, not just the one closest to you.” 

“Especially, since they had two other horse activities earlier in the day, allowing them to know some of the horses’ personalities.”  Stacie said.  “With Temptation Alley they definitely got to see that Charlie is the least people-friendly, a grumpy old man that would much rather eat grass than work!” Stacie added.

“Or they could have asked us, a “hidden” yet available resource.  Makes me wonder what hidden resources are being missed in the organization.  As part of the Executive Board I saw that the staff was constantly putting out fires.  Though to be fair, the rules were constantly changing depending on which administration was in power.  They held the purse strings.  Still, my guess is there are some untapped opportunities waiting to be leveraged.”  I concluded. 

“Right” Stacie responded. 

After Charlie walked away, JoAnn, turned to the next closest horse which was our draft mare Tigger.  Tigger was also not interested in moving, unless it’s necessary, though she was very much a people-horse, loving the attention.  A former Amish horse, we surmised that she was grateful for the kindness, a gentle giant that appreciated being in a space where she felt loved and seen. 

Tigger dropped her big head, letting JoAnn halter her. Though when she asked her to move, she basically said “No”; firmly planting herself where she stood.  The board members that were assigned to be supportive and help where possible, were all busy talking with the board members assigned to specific roles.  Not one of them recognized the opportunity to support JoAnn.  Interestingly JoAnn didn’t immediately ask for help, from either them or Stacie and I.  She kept trying to move all 1,800 pounds of gentle giant by tugging on the lead rope. 

JoAnn tried on her own for several minutes with the entire board unaware.  I looked at my watch, realizing we could use the remaining time together to process what just took place.  They had physically experienced what mirrored our organizational behavior, we could now spend the balance of our time brainstorming solutions.  Identifying actions, accountability, and metrics to proactively shift toward more board involvement.  The EAL experience could help us unstick our stuckness!

Have you ever found yourself repeating a behavior over and over, being stuck and not being able to see a clear path forward?

Have you had a breakthrough where you became unstuck?  What were the conditions that supported this new behavioral change? 

What can you apply from your experience in the future?

COMMUNICATION

COMMUNICATION

Co-creating programs with people who are open to learning provides both of us, the client and KLC team members, an opportunity for growth, fun, and living into a higher purpose.  One organization that lives their truth is Next Element (NE).  Next Element Consulting, located in Newton KS, provides organizational development consulting, advising, and training for businesses, schools, and healthcare organizations across the United States and abroad. 

The founders, Nate, Jamie, Jeff, and Michelle, provide a training tool called Process Communication Model (PCM).  PCM was discovered by Dr. Tabai Kahler.  The assessment provides a sequence, or process, by which people interact with each other.  This tool shows that human behavior can be identified objectively, literally second by second, as either being communication or miscommunication.  The patterns, positive and negative, are sequential, measurable, and predictable. 

Because they are master facilitators of this process, their organizational culture permeates all things PCM.  The four founders are purposeful and intentional with their words, tones, postures, gestures, and facial expressions.  Such that, as a sender of information, each one works to precisely compliment the receiver in a manner that engages and motivates them. 

I returned from my first PCM training filled with much enthusiasm.  This communication tool made such sense in understanding myself and others.  A condo, a series of six parts of your personality, was built based on your responses to a questionnaire.  The base defined the main parts of your communication. 

As a Persister, opinions and values matter most to me and I am dedicated, observant, and conscientious.  Requestive is my preferred channel of communication.  I appreciate when people recognize my work and conviction.  Lastly, when in distress I push my beliefs, get frustrated with those who don’t believe, and am critical or suspicious.  Spot on!

I loved this tool so much that when Next Element offered their next training, I gave the three-day event to my husband, Randy, as a Christmas present.  He’s not really into all this training and learning stuff, so it was a stretch for him to agree to attend.  Though he knew when we first started dating that this is my jam, I insisted he discover his love language, take an emotional intelligence quiz, and several others.  He was willing to do the PCM training because when he read my profile, his response was, “I finally get you.”  Whew!

Randy’s profile is that of a Thinker.  His preferred way of being is using thoughts and logic.  He is responsible, logical, and organized.  He also likes the requestive channel of communication.  You can warm his heart when you recognize his work and time structure.  When he is in distress, he over controls (boy, does he!), is frustrated with those who don’t “think” and is critical around time, responsibility, and fairness. 

One of the important things to understand with PCM is we are all all six (persister, thinker, harmonizer, rebel, promoter, and imaginer) of the personality parts, just in different orders and with individual depth of each part.  What that means is we can meet anyone at their preferred style, by paying attention to their word choice, facial expressions, and other cues.  This is significant, especially when someone is in distress. 

I can recall a time when my house basement flooded.  Using a squeegee I was trying to move the water that had accumulated around the stairs, around the corner to the sump pump drain.  Randy was there to help, also shoving and sloshing the water toward the sump pump.  When frustrated he gets angry as a way to cope.  His personality came shining through when we was shouting about the fact that there wasn’t another drain in the middle of the basement – “It didn’t make sense”.  Knowing that his frustration was not targeting me, rather simply his way of dealing with things, helped me stay calm and not take his anger personally.

Situations such as the flooding incident, offered Randy insight into himself.  The insights from PCM may have saved our marriage more than a few times!  He was so convinced of the power of this tool, that he used money from his family foundation to bring the NE team to Frankenmuth.  We coordinated a half-day PCM training for thirty-one area community leaders, including his two sons and mother.   

Because the NE founders would be in town, I offered to introduce them to Equine-Assisted Learning.  It fit perfectly with their ongoing efforts to build a strong and healthy team.  They focused a lot on personality differences and how that plays out in terms of communication, motivation, distress, and team dynamics. 

The four founders and their PCM profiles are:

Nate – Promoter base.  A promoter is adaptable, persuasive, and charming.  When they are in distress they manipulate by setting up arguments, creating negative drama, and ignoring or the rules.

Jamie – Thinker base.  Jamie’s profile means she is responsible, logical, and organized.  When she is in distress, she over controls, is frustrated with those who don’t “think” and is critical around time, responsibility, and fairness.    

Jeff – Rebel base. Rebels are spontaneous, creative, and playful.  When they are in distress, they blame.  They are negative and complaining, “Yes, but…”, and use phrases such as “if it weren’t for…”

Michelle - Thinker base.  Michelle’s profile means she is responsible, logical, and organized.  When she is in distress she over controls, is frustrated with those who don’t “think” and is critical around time, responsibility, and fairness.   

The last activity of the day was reflective round penning.  This activity was designed to introduce pressure, asking, and intention.  We set up the roundpen in a circle twenty 6’ panels in the center of the arena.  I, and the four NT team members gathered around the outside of the pen. 

Stacie went into the circle where Charlie was patiently waiting.  She demonstrated moving Charlie around the inside edge of the pen by positioning her body toward his hind quarters.  She focused her energy, faced him with her gently raised her arms, putting pressure on him as an ask to move forward. He walked off slowly, so Stacie increased the pressure by moving closer, asking him to pick up speed.  He started to trot.  She waved her arms adding even more pressure, so he begrudgingly began to canter.  After he moved into the canter, Stacie rewarded his behavior by stepping back and releasing the pressure. 

After a short time of him cantering to the right, she shifted her body, turning him to now circle to the left.  Having done this countless times, she demonstrated a beautiful dance, with Charlie simply doing what he was asked, not showing any frustration.  When she completely took the pressure off, he turned toward her and walked into the center of the pen to meet her.  He had “joined up” with her, recognizing her respectful leadership.     

Nate went first, his Promoter personality loves action.  He aggressively tried to move Charle around the pen.  He rushed up to him, arms spread wide, his energy pushing him without touching him.  Charlie moved away from the pressure at a high speed kicking up dirt from the arena floor.  Charlie swirled his neck in frustration, his tail whipping side to side, indicating his annoyance.        

Michelle  Jamie and Jeff could be heard strategizing about what they would do differently because they recognized the difference between Stacie’s calm leadership and Nate’s more aggressive approach.  Each of them then took their turn asking Charlie to move around the roundpen.  Their communication styles were reflected in their approach and Charlie’s responses. 

Their time together really brought the differing personalities to light.  The parallels to their team were immediately apparent, giving them important insights.  We learned during the debrief, that the horse experience held up a mirror for them in a new way to recognize things they were feeling or experiencing, but didn’t know how to talk about. 

We wrapped up with the Mr. Potatohead closing activity.  A big Mr. Potatohead holds four other little potatoheads.  Included are arms, eyes, hats, glasses, ears, and a mustache or two.  The invitation to the group is co-create something that represented their experience together.  The Next Element team, over giggles, crafted several potato heads all with dominant eyes and ears representing their profound learning.  They proudly walked us through their creation, excitedly recalling the insights they learned through our training.

I learned later, that the whole team talked about the experience for a long time, sharing its lasting impact.  It helped each one of them own parts of themselves that they had previously felt were not OK.  They each got to see how their personality could be a real asset in certain situations, when used properly. 

Share a time when you caught yourself being yourself.  What was significant about the experience?

Did you take what you learned from that experience and apply it to other situations?  How?

Is there something in the future that you’d like to change, that could be changed by you communicating differently?  What actions will you take to make that happen?

COMPANIONSHIP

COMPASSION

Wanda was listening to a Christian radio show called Focus on the Family, when someone was being interviewed from Crystal Peaks Ranch in Oregon.  They described the work they did with rescued horses and troubled kids.  How the work with horses changed lives.  This sparked in her a curiosity, so she googled about horses, changed lives, etc. This search opened the door to learning about the wonderful world of EAL.  She told her husband, Mundo, about it, then set out to find out more.

On the search to find a place where Mundo could go to get trained or certified in the EAL field, they came across numerous options which ranged from being very new age to scholarly.  Their focus first went to Spain.  Mundo decided to call since the training would be in Spanish.  The woman in Spain spoke to Mundo, suggesting he visit a center closer to home before committing to engage in her training. 

Nana’s search also revealed that Kaleidoscope was an option.  She suggested it to him because of the scholarly approach.  The information on the KLC website matched Mundo’s graduate studies which focused on business consulting.  Also, the fact that Kaleidoscope was in Michigan gave them a chance to visit Mundo’s cousin who lived near Detroit.

I received a phone call from a man with a very thick Spanish accent inquiring about my training.  While I didn’t offer a certification program, I was always willing to support people interested in learning more about EAL.  I shared anything – the good, the bad, and the ugly with the premise that they couldn’t replicate my work because we came from different life experiences, backgrounds, learning styles, etc. 

He told me he was Dr. Edmundo Jimenez from Puerto Rico and he and his wife wanted to come to Michigan to learn about EAL.  He explained that he showed Paso Fino horses and had recently learned about how horses could help people.  He was an organizational business consultant, with his own consulting business, InBusiness for Team Development, Inc.   He reasoned it might be a good match to bring his love of horses into his business and was eager to learn more about EAL. 

I emailed him a proposed training with the following outcomes:

-Explore industry definitions, standards, and guidelines

-Identify core elements of a skilled EAL Facilitator

-Self exploration and assessment -gap analysis of skills and talents

-Practice EAL facilitation, peer review, and feedback

-Networking with other industry professionals

-Increase awareness of the components of a learner-centered EAL program

He and his wife, Nana, agreed so I reached out to six other people who had also expressed interest in learning more about running an EAL business.  I offered to only charge Mundo and Nana for any out-of-pocket expenses. The opportunity to develop a collaborative partnership with a fellow EAL provider in Puerto Rico was exciting! 

It turned out Nana was afraid of horses, so she was just joining to support Mundo and learn the business side of the process.  She actively participated in all the non-horse dialogues and exercises, though when it came to working with the horses, she mostly observed.  Gradually, we all witnessed her getting more comfortable with our four-legged facilitators.  She moved from the edge of the arena, to nearer the horse work, getting closer and closer to our equine partners. By the third day when she was invited to lead Minnie, she responded with a tentative “yes”.

Mundo was beyond excited when she finally felt comfortable enough to actively work with the horses.  This was a significant breakthrough for two reasons.  One, she would no longer be just behind-the-scenes with their farm.  This new awakening potentially opened a door to her more active participating in the equine work.  As equally important, was the revelation of how transformational partnering with horses can be for individuals to overcome limited beliefs.  Her conquering her fear of horses was an “Aha moment” that she told me became a game changer for their business, The Equus of Puerto Rico.   

After his experience in Michigan, Mundo, Nana and I kept in touch with them wanting me to come to PR to introduce EAL to their community.  Their farm was under construction, so they planned a “Deminar” at a neighboring barn. 

I’d never been to PR, so I made my usual arrangements for people to take care of kids, dogs, and horses then jumped on a plane headed to the island.  They invited me to stay in their home, which made the experience even more special.

The first stop on my PR tour was to observe Mundo in action as an organizational consultant.  Nana and I entered a large auditorium filled with people, mostly men, in business attire.  Mundo was at the front of the room on a stage in front of a very large video screen.  He was wearing a microphone and gesturing actively to the audience. Nana and I made our way to the back of the room where she could whisper English to me, interpreting Mundo’s presentation. 

It was wonderful watching him, his dynamic personality shown brightly as he strutted across the stage, changing the pitch in his voice from a whisper to shouting, captivating his audience.

Following the presentation we spent the day touring the island.  They took me to their favorite out-of-the-way restaurant for mofongo (mashed plantains) and an actual coconut with a straw to drink coconut water.  We toured old San Juan, the Castillo San Filipe de Morro (16th century citadel built by the Spanish) and the San Cristobal Castle (largest Spanish fort in the new world). 

The next day was the Deminar.  They invited twelve people, a mixture of men and women, to participate.  Because I only speak English and they also spoke English, we began in my primary language.  Questions in Spanish would fill the air, with Nana stepping in to explain to me what was being asked. 

We discovered during the first debriefing that it was best for them to share their thoughts in Spanish, their natural tongue, rather than try to translate it for me into English.  Important feelings, emotions, and subtle nuances got lost in translation.  So, we reversed our approach with most of the conversation now in Spanish, Nana again interpreting for me.  The speed, enthusiasm, and energy with which they could share ideas in their native language was significantly different than when they were asked to speak English.

The language of Equus though isn’t Spanish or English – it’s Universal.  The equine experiences offered insights for all the participants. 

The friendship between Nana, Mundo, and I grew.  Mundo attended the EAL Post-Masters program in Prescott Arizona four times the next year to further enhance his learning.  He developed a deep friendship with Paul Smith and Pam McPhee, which led to them also visiting PR.  Additionally, the Experiential Training and Development Alliance, a group the three (Pam, Paul, and I) of us belong to, participated in a service project on their farm to help them recover following the horrific damage from hurricane Maria. 

To this day, 2025, we continue to seek ways to come together to share our passion of horses helping humans.  It all started with a compassionate person from Oregon rescuing horses to help troubled kids and a person listening to that story on the radio.  Our collaborative efforts have positively impacted hundreds, if not thousands, of lives. 

Have you noticed or tracked the ripple effect of an action of compassion in your life?  What was it?

Can you identify another possible compassionate action that you could take today that may or may not have far reaching effects?

Is there a way in the future to determine the impacts of the choice you made?  Can you take additional actions to increase it’s reach and positive power?     

SAFETY

SAFETY

Friend and colleague, Jeff Boyd, hired Pam, Paul, and I for an equine-assisted learning (EAL) session.  Jeff’s client was a large international pharmaceutical company (40,000 employees) headquartered in Germany.  They hired him to provide two days of training, for their managers and their direct reports, eighty-five people.  Their time together was designed to focus on two of their organizational competencies, Winning Vision and Managing Performance. 

Winning Vision:  Creates excitement and inspires others to deliver results to grow the organization.  Develops a compelling sense of purpose and positive direction for the team to achieve success; Translates strategies into plans that deliver superior value to internal and external customers. 

Managing Performance:  Prioritize activities and initiatives rapidly regarding their importance to the organization, maintains the correct balance between the short-term and long-term; Sets stretch goals and high standards for self and others, raises the bar; Supports progression, requests and gives timely, accurate and constructive performance feedback on progress, outcomes, and improvement possibilities; Remains effective and self-motivated om the face of set-backs, supports others to do the same; Gives and shares credit for success.    

Our part of the retreat was called Leadership Presence:  The Equine Challenge.  The equine session was selected because of the transparency of intentions, thoughts, and motivations.  Jeff recognized that equine activities might support some of the breakthroughs they were seeking.    

Jeff’s core team met several times to review and plan all the logistics; the equine team also met to coordinate our roles.  Pam drove down to farm we were renting to meet the owners, the horses, and verify that the facility would accommodate our objectives.  She reported back to us that “the owner, Cristina could not be nicer and more accommodating, the horses are so well behaved and beautifully kept and the facility is really impressive.”  The agenda set, flights secured, and logistics identified we were prepared and ready to support Jeff and his team reach the company’s retreat goals.

The eighty-five people were divided into Group A (43 people) and Group B (42 people).  The client assigned the people to the groups, so we had no way of knowing their relationships with each other or within the company. Each group would be spending a 3-hour block with us, one in the morning and the second one in the afternoon.  Our plan included a sequence of equine and non-equine activities designed to increase their self-awareness, helping them reach the organizational goals.    

At the opening session of the event Jeff framed the experience for the whole group, explaining that behaviors are tools that we choose to apply to get the results we desire.  He pointed out that we are best served if we begin with the end in mind, choose the best behavior to build the desired result, and unbridle our extreme potential through growing talent, managing performance, and having a winning vision.

Jeff, then helped tee us up by explaining “Why horses?”.  He shared that by experientially partnering with horses, the employees would be better able to:

            *To Grow Talent through practicing observation

            *Manage Performance through understanding what motivates others.

            * Winning Vision – we communicate the vision, first in intention then through influence.  They needed to align the vision with the company activities and goals by being clear congruent, and consistent in their communication.  He suggested we do that by creating opportunities for people to achieve by applying pressure and having them contribute their efforts to achieve a winning vision.

Pam, Paul, and I split the groups into thirds, facilitating several opening activities focused on direct and indirect pressure, intention, and winning vision.  We brought everyone back together, then Group A quietly entered the arena for Billiards.  Billiards invites the group to move the horse(s) into a “pocket”, or space defined by pvc pipes.   Group A completed the activity successfully by communicating effectively, calmly working together, and having a shared vision.

Following lunch and the opening activities, Group B came into the arena with an air of confidence and excitement, an entirely different energy than the first group.  They shared with us later that they had learned about the details of the activity from Group A.  Thinking they knew the solution, they strutted in with an arrogance that was cocky.  What they didn’t recognize is that in EAL, moving horse(s) into a pocket isn’t the win, it’s the “how” you do it that matters. 

To make the situation even more unpredictable, after the break, we traded out horses from our first activity to give them their lunch and some rest.  The new group of horses included a mare that was in heat.  In heat means that she is receptive to breeding.  When a mare is in heat, the geldings (boy horses), sometimes notice and can be a bit more excitable.   

The humans heightened energy was not only noticed by us, the human facilitators, the five four-legged facilitators shifted from wandering in the arena to moving at a trot, kicking up a little dust.  When the participants started moving together, trying to push the horses into the pockets, things really got wild.  The horses started cantering, bucking, and kicking out in a effort to move – quickly – away from the pressure of the people. 

The participants in Group B thought this was exciting.  They started whooping and hollering, spurring the horses into even more of a frenzy.  Pam, Paul, and I shared panicked looks at each other, because we recognized the potentially dangerous situation playing in front of us.  We started motioning up and down with our flattened hands, seeking to non-verbally encourage the participants to settle down.  The group completely ignored us.

Paul couldn’t take it anymore.  He stepped into the middle of the arena and shouted, “SHUT THE F*CK UP!!”.  Stunned, to a person, they stopped their catcalls.  The horses responded by slowing from a canter to a trot and eventually down to a walk.  Breathing heavily, their chests moving in and out, the horses sought to catch their breath after such vigorous exercise. 

The dumbfounded participants just stood there, as Pam and I moved from the sides of the arena to stand next to Paul in the middle.  Paul recognized he’d lost his cool, that he acted unprofessionally.  He cleared his throat, then apologized to the group for his outburst.  He explained to them that his reaction was to the real and present danger they were in that they did not recognize. 

We later learned that the first group was all lower to mid-management.  They were people used to working together and being told what to do.  Group B, on the other hand, was all the higher-ups.  They were, mostly men, who were used to competing, fighting for resources, attention, and prestige.  At the end of the first day, during our debriefing with Jeff and his team, we all agreed that each group’s behavior mirrored their behavior at work. 

Jeff and his team made plans to transfer this learning experience back to the organizational culture.  They devised activities to support the competencies, Growing Talent, Winning Vision, and Managing Performance.  This led to a rich discussion, where they created action plans to support how they could apply the lessons from The Equine Challenge.  Where could they put in guardrails to help them identify potential risks?  Were there ways to reward the clear, congruent, and consistent communication?  Once again, lessons did not personally orchestrate were exactly what the participants sought.   

Recall a time where you didn’t immediately recognize a dangerous situation.  What kept you safe and got you out of that risky circumstance?

How can you use what you learned from the experience to keep yourself or others safe?

In the future, when you consider safety, do you plan to pay attention to more than your physical safety?