UNSTUCK

UNSTUCK

I finished putting out the last of the baked goods, including a “big donut” on the table next to the granola bars, string cheese, and yogurt.  This yummy treat was size of a regular paper plate covered in chocolate frosting with multi-colored sprinkles.  The guests from a county board began entering the conference room.  Fourteen of our board members and our Executive Director, JoAnn, would be spending the morning and early afternoon together. 

I’d been a part of this board for six years (ultimately eighteen).  As an organization, we were at a crossroads, so I offered to facilitate an Equine-Assisted Learning experience to:

1)      Celebrate 25 years – acknowledge past successes

2)      Increase engagement of board members & stakeholders

3)      Identify sustainable funding

4)      Develop a plan for focused marketing efforts

5)      Create a future vision for the organization

The board was made up of a cross-section of individuals from Saginaw County.  Ranging from education, to manufacturing, and business leaders who cared about our mission, which was, “to increase the achievement and employability skills of Saginaw County’s youth.  Area students benefited from the focused efforts by the Partnership’s board members, volunteers, and staff.  They accessed specialty designed programs and services that are used by nearly 12,000 eighth through twelfth grade students throughout Saginaw County.”

For the morning session, we interwove horse and non-horse activities keeping the group engaged.  For example, the results from the pre-assessment helped ground the group, connecting people by learning more about each individual, the gifts they brought to the board, and why they were part of this community.

After a delicious western lunch of pulled pork, baked beans, cornbread with all the fixings, from a local butcher shop we experientially explored the future of the organization.  The purpose of the activity was to identify possible challenges and solutions through partnering with the horses.  The horse-safe resources, such as cones, pvc pipes, and pool noodles, were used as metaphors for what we, as an organization, would need to get over, go through, or go around. Each board member was invited to identify their role, stating how they would be supporting JoAnn and her staff. 

The horses were at liberty in the front pasture with the pile of resources near the gate.  The horses would represent stakeholders or clients moving through the services and programs offered by the organization.  The written instructions explained that they could use lead ropes if it mirrored the situation.  Meaning, was the client, student, council member, etc. a connected partner, not someone who could/would make the choice to leave.

The group moved into the pasture to investigate the resources.  Then, they returned to the conference area, gathering around the flip chart.  Tammy led the conversation, drawing out different areas the board identified as key to our success. 

Jason, Patti, and Julie would create an area representing possible State funding.  These board members had been involved the longest and were the most familiar with working with governmental agencies.  Meanwhile, Julio, Tim, and Samantha would create something that represented the schools and their superintendents in the county.  James, Gabe, and Katie would build a space that symbolized the business community.  The remaining board members would have less specific roles, seeking to support and help where they thought it was needed.  JoAnn would be charged with moving the horse(s) through these spaces as she determined with in the best interest of the organization. 

One main objective was to shift the burden from the staff to the volunteer board.  Historically, JoAnn would take too much on and those non-deadline related business development areas, such as marketing, would fall off, remaining untapped or leveraged.  This organizational behavior let to additional chasing after grant dollars, creating a vicious cycle we were determined to break.

When the ten minutes we allotted for their planning was coming to an end, I asked by a show of thumbs up, level, or down, indicating whether everyone believed they understood their roles and agreed with the plan.  Fourteen thumbs pointed toward the ceiling meant we could get started with the activity. 

Stacie and I stood off to the side, watching the people grab different props, moving toward their pre-determined areas in the open field.  It was a near-perfect Michigan June day, with a light breeze.  One thing that was interesting was how far apart they built each of the different sections, one for government, one for education, and one for business.  They were so far apart, it clearly was going to be a challenge, for anybody, to get a horse to move easily between them.  We had just identified our first debriefing question, what was the thought process of making this so difficult?  Importantly, did it represent reality?

Once everyone seemed satisfied with their space, JoAnn moved toward the horse closest to her, trying to catch Charlie to put a halter on him.  He quietly, in his Mr. Brown no-I-am-not interested way, slowly moved away from her pressure.  We questioned JoAnn about the use of the lead rope, affirming that the client she chose was indeed someone who was connected to the organization.  She affirmed that they decided to start with someone who was already committed and willing to help us succeed.   

Stacie turned to me, commenting,

“You know, they spent almost all their planning time on the course, not much of it talking about which horse(s) to use and why.”

“That’s really interesting”, I replied.  Think about the importance of identifying the right client or stakeholder, not just the one closest to you.” 

“Especially, since they had two other horse activities earlier in the day, allowing them to know some of the horses’ personalities.”  Stacie said.  “With Temptation Alley they definitely got to see that Charlie is the least people-friendly, a grumpy old man that would much rather eat grass than work!” Stacie added.

“Or they could have asked us, a “hidden” yet available resource.  Makes me wonder what hidden resources are being missed in the organization.  As part of the Executive Board I saw that the staff was constantly putting out fires.  Though to be fair, the rules were constantly changing depending on which administration was in power.  They held the purse strings.  Still, my guess is there are some untapped opportunities waiting to be leveraged.”  I concluded. 

“Right” Stacie responded. 

After Charlie walked away, JoAnn, turned to the next closest horse which was our draft mare Tigger.  Tigger was also not interested in moving, unless it’s necessary, though she was very much a people-horse, loving the attention.  A former Amish horse, we surmised that she was grateful for the kindness, a gentle giant that appreciated being in a space where she felt loved and seen. 

Tigger dropped her big head, letting JoAnn halter her. Though when she asked her to move, she basically said “No”; firmly planting herself where she stood.  The board members that were assigned to be supportive and help where possible, were all busy talking with the board members assigned to specific roles.  Not one of them recognized the opportunity to support JoAnn.  Interestingly JoAnn didn’t immediately ask for help, from either them or Stacie and I.  She kept trying to move all 1,800 pounds of gentle giant by tugging on the lead rope. 

JoAnn tried on her own for several minutes with the entire board unaware.  I looked at my watch, realizing we could use the remaining time together to process what just took place.  They had physically experienced what mirrored our organizational behavior, we could now spend the balance of our time brainstorming solutions.  Identifying actions, accountability, and metrics to proactively shift toward more board involvement.  The EAL experience could help us unstick our stuckness!

Have you ever found yourself repeating a behavior over and over, being stuck and not being able to see a clear path forward?

Have you had a breakthrough where you became unstuck?  What were the conditions that supported this new behavioral change? 

What can you apply from your experience in the future?

COMMUNICATION

COMMUNICATION

Co-creating programs with people who are open to learning provides both of us, the client and KLC team members, an opportunity for growth, fun, and living into a higher purpose.  One organization that lives their truth is Next Element (NE).  Next Element Consulting, located in Newton KS, provides organizational development consulting, advising, and training for businesses, schools, and healthcare organizations across the United States and abroad. 

The founders, Nate, Jamie, Jeff, and Michelle, provide a training tool called Process Communication Model (PCM).  PCM was discovered by Dr. Tabai Kahler.  The assessment provides a sequence, or process, by which people interact with each other.  This tool shows that human behavior can be identified objectively, literally second by second, as either being communication or miscommunication.  The patterns, positive and negative, are sequential, measurable, and predictable. 

Because they are master facilitators of this process, their organizational culture permeates all things PCM.  The four founders are purposeful and intentional with their words, tones, postures, gestures, and facial expressions.  Such that, as a sender of information, each one works to precisely compliment the receiver in a manner that engages and motivates them. 

I returned from my first PCM training filled with much enthusiasm.  This communication tool made such sense in understanding myself and others.  A condo, a series of six parts of your personality, was built based on your responses to a questionnaire.  The base defined the main parts of your communication. 

As a Persister, opinions and values matter most to me and I am dedicated, observant, and conscientious.  Requestive is my preferred channel of communication.  I appreciate when people recognize my work and conviction.  Lastly, when in distress I push my beliefs, get frustrated with those who don’t believe, and am critical or suspicious.  Spot on!

I loved this tool so much that when Next Element offered their next training, I gave the three-day event to my husband, Randy, as a Christmas present.  He’s not really into all this training and learning stuff, so it was a stretch for him to agree to attend.  Though he knew when we first started dating that this is my jam, I insisted he discover his love language, take an emotional intelligence quiz, and several others.  He was willing to do the PCM training because when he read my profile, his response was, “I finally get you.”  Whew!

Randy’s profile is that of a Thinker.  His preferred way of being is using thoughts and logic.  He is responsible, logical, and organized.  He also likes the requestive channel of communication.  You can warm his heart when you recognize his work and time structure.  When he is in distress, he over controls (boy, does he!), is frustrated with those who don’t “think” and is critical around time, responsibility, and fairness. 

One of the important things to understand with PCM is we are all all six (persister, thinker, harmonizer, rebel, promoter, and imaginer) of the personality parts, just in different orders and with individual depth of each part.  What that means is we can meet anyone at their preferred style, by paying attention to their word choice, facial expressions, and other cues.  This is significant, especially when someone is in distress. 

I can recall a time when my house basement flooded.  Using a squeegee I was trying to move the water that had accumulated around the stairs, around the corner to the sump pump drain.  Randy was there to help, also shoving and sloshing the water toward the sump pump.  When frustrated he gets angry as a way to cope.  His personality came shining through when we was shouting about the fact that there wasn’t another drain in the middle of the basement – “It didn’t make sense”.  Knowing that his frustration was not targeting me, rather simply his way of dealing with things, helped me stay calm and not take his anger personally.

Situations such as the flooding incident, offered Randy insight into himself.  The insights from PCM may have saved our marriage more than a few times!  He was so convinced of the power of this tool, that he used money from his family foundation to bring the NE team to Frankenmuth.  We coordinated a half-day PCM training for thirty-one area community leaders, including his two sons and mother.   

Because the NE founders would be in town, I offered to introduce them to Equine-Assisted Learning.  It fit perfectly with their ongoing efforts to build a strong and healthy team.  They focused a lot on personality differences and how that plays out in terms of communication, motivation, distress, and team dynamics. 

The four founders and their PCM profiles are:

Nate – Promoter base.  A promoter is adaptable, persuasive, and charming.  When they are in distress they manipulate by setting up arguments, creating negative drama, and ignoring or the rules.

Jamie – Thinker base.  Jamie’s profile means she is responsible, logical, and organized.  When she is in distress, she over controls, is frustrated with those who don’t “think” and is critical around time, responsibility, and fairness.    

Jeff – Rebel base. Rebels are spontaneous, creative, and playful.  When they are in distress, they blame.  They are negative and complaining, “Yes, but…”, and use phrases such as “if it weren’t for…”

Michelle - Thinker base.  Michelle’s profile means she is responsible, logical, and organized.  When she is in distress she over controls, is frustrated with those who don’t “think” and is critical around time, responsibility, and fairness.   

The last activity of the day was reflective round penning.  This activity was designed to introduce pressure, asking, and intention.  We set up the roundpen in a circle twenty 6’ panels in the center of the arena.  I, and the four NT team members gathered around the outside of the pen. 

Stacie went into the circle where Charlie was patiently waiting.  She demonstrated moving Charlie around the inside edge of the pen by positioning her body toward his hind quarters.  She focused her energy, faced him with her gently raised her arms, putting pressure on him as an ask to move forward. He walked off slowly, so Stacie increased the pressure by moving closer, asking him to pick up speed.  He started to trot.  She waved her arms adding even more pressure, so he begrudgingly began to canter.  After he moved into the canter, Stacie rewarded his behavior by stepping back and releasing the pressure. 

After a short time of him cantering to the right, she shifted her body, turning him to now circle to the left.  Having done this countless times, she demonstrated a beautiful dance, with Charlie simply doing what he was asked, not showing any frustration.  When she completely took the pressure off, he turned toward her and walked into the center of the pen to meet her.  He had “joined up” with her, recognizing her respectful leadership.     

Nate went first, his Promoter personality loves action.  He aggressively tried to move Charle around the pen.  He rushed up to him, arms spread wide, his energy pushing him without touching him.  Charlie moved away from the pressure at a high speed kicking up dirt from the arena floor.  Charlie swirled his neck in frustration, his tail whipping side to side, indicating his annoyance.        

Michelle  Jamie and Jeff could be heard strategizing about what they would do differently because they recognized the difference between Stacie’s calm leadership and Nate’s more aggressive approach.  Each of them then took their turn asking Charlie to move around the roundpen.  Their communication styles were reflected in their approach and Charlie’s responses. 

Their time together really brought the differing personalities to light.  The parallels to their team were immediately apparent, giving them important insights.  We learned during the debrief, that the horse experience held up a mirror for them in a new way to recognize things they were feeling or experiencing, but didn’t know how to talk about. 

We wrapped up with the Mr. Potatohead closing activity.  A big Mr. Potatohead holds four other little potatoheads.  Included are arms, eyes, hats, glasses, ears, and a mustache or two.  The invitation to the group is co-create something that represented their experience together.  The Next Element team, over giggles, crafted several potato heads all with dominant eyes and ears representing their profound learning.  They proudly walked us through their creation, excitedly recalling the insights they learned through our training.

I learned later, that the whole team talked about the experience for a long time, sharing its lasting impact.  It helped each one of them own parts of themselves that they had previously felt were not OK.  They each got to see how their personality could be a real asset in certain situations, when used properly. 

Share a time when you caught yourself being yourself.  What was significant about the experience?

Did you take what you learned from that experience and apply it to other situations?  How?

Is there something in the future that you’d like to change, that could be changed by you communicating differently?  What actions will you take to make that happen?

COMPANIONSHIP

COMPANIONSHIP

The relationship between a local university and Kaleidoscope began with hosting an all-hands meeting at the farm for their faculty and staff.  One of their employees, Barb, a local Frankenmuther began a friendship at Saginaw County’s Women-in-Leadership luncheons.  We discovered that we valued similar approaches to adult learning.  We both thought that adult learners should be able to leverage their lived experience.  She recognized that to convince the decision makers at the university to allow me to facilitate courses in partnership with horses, we would be best served if they had their own hands-on experience. 

I didn’t learn until much later that inviting the faculty and staff out to experience our work first-hand was a primary reason we were able to deliver eight courses over five years.  Barb shared with me that the University’s legal department was scared to death to offer an equine program.  They were convinced the risk was not worth the reward although we named them as additional insured, had the students sign waivers, and I was accepted as a full faculty member, meaning I had agreed to all of their human resource legal requirements. Because of our attention to safety and our expertise, I argued that the students were at higher risk of harm driving to my farm than in any danger on the property.  Thankfully Barb advocated for us, referring back to the all-hands meeting’s safety procedures and low risk activities.

SOC 345 The Culture of Leadership was a three-day weekend course for adults earning their bachelor's degree.  We crafted a program that intentionally required connectedness and intimacy in order to be successful.   We facilitated activities that were both interpersonal and intrapersonal, creating self-awareness and building relationships.   One of the students remarked that they had been in courses with some of the other students for years and this was the first time they ever learned anything personal about them. 

Day one set the stage, starting with the non-traditional learning space we offered.  Instead of a college classroom with bright fluorescent lights, long tables and uncomfortable straight-back chairs; the participants found two couches, a lazyboy chair, cushy wide conference room chairs, and other homey accoutrements.  Of course, there was a breakfast spread of banana bread, an apple strudel, cheese sticks, boiled eggs, coffee, tea, hot chocolate and cold beverages.     

I also began the course by intentionally facilitating the academic information to ensure the participants realized they were as equally responsible for their learning as I was as the professor.  Most of the students had not experienced a learner-centered, competency-based model before.  Even though they were working adults in professional careers, they were often surprised by the invitation to own their learning.  Most of their other courses were sage on the stage, a traditional, teacher-centered educational approach where an instructor lectures, acting as the primary knowledge source. We were quite the opposite. 

I started each course by explaining to the participants that they already earned an “A’ in the course, that it was theirs’ to lose.  As I walked them through the syllabus and workbook, I pointed out how I had set them up for success.  I would reward the “try” if they followed the outline and met the expectations described.  They were invited to stay curious and question everything. I told them I hoped to learn as much from them as they did from me.

Day two we upped the ante, shifting from building relationships to experientially pushing on their beliefs.  We sequenced activities that invited them to look at their worldviews, actions, and choices – both with the horses and in life.  This was one of my favorite days because the design pushed them outside their comfort zone in the morning; then in the afternoon we brought them all back together.  We created a sort of “kumbaya experience” which supported all learning styles and every participant.

Day three each participant was invited to create their own leadership path into the future.  The purpose of the activity was to explore their concept of leadership and its’ application.  They were instructed to define the beginning and end point and lead a selected horse through the obstacle course they designed.  There was no specific time limit.  When it was not the participant’s turn, they were to be an “Active Observer”, watching for congruence between the leader’s actions and words, as well as the horse’s responses. While we facilitated this activity nearly 100 times, there are three stories that stand out.  Times when we co-created an environment of intimacy that was life changing. 

Story 1:  Jim’s leadership goal was to stop smoking.  Because the students’ path into the future activity could be anything they wanted, stopping smoking was a legitimate “leadership” choice.  My belief was/is that being an impactful leader begins with self-awareness. 

Jim used our horse-safe props to create a path where he was most vulnerable to smoking.  He put pool noodles in a triangle to represent being at the bar with friends.  He took four cones to make a box representing the entrance on the sidewalk outside his place of work where smokers gathered.  In between the square and the triangle, he laid pvc pipes to create a path.  The path he told us was his car, where he usually lit up on his way to and from work.   The final “temptation” was a large area he designated with smaller multi-colored discs he named as his home.  He felt it was important to share with us that he only smoked on his porch, not inside his home.

He invited several of his classmates to join him as he walked this path, each of them representing a smoking buddy.  He haltered Diva, cleanly walked the path without a single pause, reaching the end without any hesitation from Miss D.  When I ran into Jim’s dad at a Chamber meeting, I learned that Jim indeed did quit smoking.  He gave it up following his Kaleidoscope experience.

Story 2:  It was the first day of our course.  The room was filled with eleven students, some of them re-introducing themselves to each other.  Others gravitated to the food and coffee welcoming them to our space.  Stacie and I both noticed David the minute he entered the conference room.  He looked distracted and distant.  He quietly slipped into a chair located the furthest away from the others.  After distributing the workbooks, we invited each person to introduce themselves.  When it was David’s turn, he shared that he wasn’t sure he was going to be able to be a part of the class.  His daughter’s best friend had committed suicide the night before by driving his car into a tree.  He was distraught and not sure he could be present with us, he explained. 

I told him we understood that we were very sorry for his loss and asked how we could support him.  He said he wasn’t sure. He’d just wait to see how he felt and how things went.  All the other students nodded in agreement, with the woman sitting next to him reaching over rubbing his arm lightly.

David made it to day three.  He created a leadership path that included all his fellow participants and all the horses.  He told us that he took everything he learned in this course home to share with his daughter and her friends.  The insights about making choices, identifying what we can control and what we can’t, and information about brain research all contributed to his conversations with the kids.  Through tears streaming down his face, he thanked us all for our kindness and wisdom.    

Story 3:  Matt decided he wanted his path to represent the choice of whether to have another child or not.  He brought with him a picture of his daughter who recently died from a rare genetic disorder.  He and his wife were at a crossroads trying to decide if they should try again to have a baby.  His wife was terrified that they would lose another baby and wasn’t convinced that she could go through that again or that their marriage could survive a diagnosis that led to difficult life or death decisions. 

There was not a dry eye in the arena after Matt shared his story.  He laid out his path with two yellow discs representing the beginning.  Then he made two lines of pvc pipes, one angling to the left, the other to the right.  At the end on the left was a large orange cone where he taped his deceased daughter’s picture, representing, “yes” they would try again to have a baby.  The pvc pipe to the right was empty representing no.  No baby.

Matt chose to partner with Al.  He wadded the lead rope up in his right hand, his left hand wrapped under Al’s neck, hugging it gently.  He leaned forward, inviting Al to move.  Al took the cue, ears up facing forward, he walked slowly toward the center of the arena. When he reached the crossroads where the pvc pipes split into a “V” he turned his head, right, then left, surveying his options.  Matt stood quietly waiting to sense which direction Al wanted to go.  Al turned to the left, moving directly toward the cone, when he reached it, he sniffed the picture taped to it. 

Randy and I were visiting our friends Kathy and Joe at their cottage on Houghton Lake.  Sitting around the campfire was a man, woman, and their nine-year old daughter.  The man saw me then came over to where I was standing.  I recognized him immediately.  It was Matt.  A huge smile on his face, he thanked me for his Kaleidoscope experience.  He put his arm around the young girl standing next to him, sharing that if it weren’t for Al, he wasn’t sure Maddie would be here today.   

Recall a time when your companions directly impacted the results of a leadership decision you made.  Share the significance of that impact.

 Have you applied what you learned to other situations?  If so, when and how?

 If not, why not and what will you do differently in the future?

SAFETY

SAFETY

Friend and colleague, Jeff Boyd, hired Pam, Paul, and I for an equine-assisted learning (EAL) session.  Jeff’s client was a large international pharmaceutical company (40,000 employees) headquartered in Germany.  They hired him to provide two days of training, for their managers and their direct reports, eighty-five people.  Their time together was designed to focus on two of their organizational competencies, Winning Vision and Managing Performance. 

Winning Vision:  Creates excitement and inspires others to deliver results to grow the organization.  Develops a compelling sense of purpose and positive direction for the team to achieve success; Translates strategies into plans that deliver superior value to internal and external customers. 

Managing Performance:  Prioritize activities and initiatives rapidly regarding their importance to the organization, maintains the correct balance between the short-term and long-term; Sets stretch goals and high standards for self and others, raises the bar; Supports progression, requests and gives timely, accurate and constructive performance feedback on progress, outcomes, and improvement possibilities; Remains effective and self-motivated om the face of set-backs, supports others to do the same; Gives and shares credit for success.    

Our part of the retreat was called Leadership Presence:  The Equine Challenge.  The equine session was selected because of the transparency of intentions, thoughts, and motivations.  Jeff recognized that equine activities might support some of the breakthroughs they were seeking.    

Jeff’s core team met several times to review and plan all the logistics; the equine team also met to coordinate our roles.  Pam drove down to farm we were renting to meet the owners, the horses, and verify that the facility would accommodate our objectives.  She reported back to us that “the owner, Cristina could not be nicer and more accommodating, the horses are so well behaved and beautifully kept and the facility is really impressive.”  The agenda set, flights secured, and logistics identified we were prepared and ready to support Jeff and his team reach the company’s retreat goals.

The eighty-five people were divided into Group A (43 people) and Group B (42 people).  The client assigned the people to the groups, so we had no way of knowing their relationships with each other or within the company. Each group would be spending a 3-hour block with us, one in the morning and the second one in the afternoon.  Our plan included a sequence of equine and non-equine activities designed to increase their self-awareness, helping them reach the organizational goals.    

At the opening session of the event Jeff framed the experience for the whole group, explaining that behaviors are tools that we choose to apply to get the results we desire.  He pointed out that we are best served if we begin with the end in mind, choose the best behavior to build the desired result, and unbridle our extreme potential through growing talent, managing performance, and having a winning vision.

Jeff, then helped tee us up by explaining “Why horses?”.  He shared that by experientially partnering with horses, the employees would be better able to:

            *To Grow Talent through practicing observation

            *Manage Performance through understanding what motivates others.

            * Winning Vision – we communicate the vision, first in intention then through influence.  They needed to align the vision with the company activities and goals by being clear congruent, and consistent in their communication.  He suggested we do that by creating opportunities for people to achieve by applying pressure and having them contribute their efforts to achieve a winning vision.

Pam, Paul, and I split the groups into thirds, facilitating several opening activities focused on direct and indirect pressure, intention, and winning vision.  We brought everyone back together, then Group A quietly entered the arena for Billiards.  Billiards invites the group to move the horse(s) into a “pocket”, or space defined by pvc pipes.   Group A completed the activity successfully by communicating effectively, calmly working together, and having a shared vision.

Following lunch and the opening activities, Group B came into the arena with an air of confidence and excitement, an entirely different energy than the first group.  They shared with us later that they had learned about the details of the activity from Group A.  Thinking they knew the solution, they strutted in with an arrogance that was cocky.  What they didn’t recognize is that in EAL, moving horse(s) into a pocket isn’t the win, it’s the “how” you do it that matters. 

To make the situation even more unpredictable, after the break, we traded out horses from our first activity to give them their lunch and some rest.  The new group of horses included a mare that was in heat.  In heat means that she is receptive to breeding.  When a mare is in heat, the geldings (boy horses), sometimes notice and can be a bit more excitable.   

The humans heightened energy was not only noticed by us, the human facilitators, the five four-legged facilitators shifted from wandering in the arena to moving at a trot, kicking up a little dust.  When the participants started moving together, trying to push the horses into the pockets, things really got wild.  The horses started cantering, bucking, and kicking out in a effort to move – quickly – away from the pressure of the people. 

The participants in Group B thought this was exciting.  They started whooping and hollering, spurring the horses into even more of a frenzy.  Pam, Paul, and I shared panicked looks at each other, because we recognized the potentially dangerous situation playing in front of us.  We started motioning up and down with our flattened hands, seeking to non-verbally encourage the participants to settle down.  The group completely ignored us.

Paul couldn’t take it anymore.  He stepped into the middle of the arena and shouted, “SHUT THE F*CK UP!!”.  Stunned, to a person, they stopped their catcalls.  The horses responded by slowing from a canter to a trot and eventually down to a walk.  Breathing heavily, their chests moving in and out, the horses sought to catch their breath after such vigorous exercise. 

The dumbfounded participants just stood there, as Pam and I moved from the sides of the arena to stand next to Paul in the middle.  Paul recognized he’d lost his cool, that he acted unprofessionally.  He cleared his throat, then apologized to the group for his outburst.  He explained to them that his reaction was to the real and present danger they were in that they did not recognize. 

We later learned that the first group was all lower to mid-management.  They were people used to working together and being told what to do.  Group B, on the other hand, was all the higher-ups.  They were, mostly men, who were used to competing, fighting for resources, attention, and prestige.  At the end of the first day, during our debriefing with Jeff and his team, we all agreed that each group’s behavior mirrored their behavior at work. 

Jeff and his team made plans to transfer this learning experience back to the organizational culture.  They devised activities to support the competencies, Growing Talent, Winning Vision, and Managing Performance.  This led to a rich discussion, where they created action plans to support how they could apply the lessons from The Equine Challenge.  Where could they put in guardrails to help them identify potential risks?  Were there ways to reward the clear, congruent, and consistent communication?  Once again, lessons did not personally orchestrate were exactly what the participants sought.   

Recall a time where you didn’t immediately recognize a dangerous situation.  What kept you safe and got you out of that risky circumstance?

How can you use what you learned from the experience to keep yourself or others safe?

In the future, when you consider safety, do you plan to pay attention to more than your physical safety?   

DIVERSITY

DIVERSITY

After retrieving our luggage, we walked through the Dubai airport, dripping with sweat from the exhaustive heat, toward the exit doors.  Our noses were assaulted from air filled with unusual scents, turmeric, curry, cinnamon and a variety of other spices. 

We, my husband Randy and I, exited the airport doors getting hit by a wave of even hotter air (not sure how that was possible?).  We scanned the multi-cultural crowd looking for someone (had to be a man, since that’s the only people holding signs) holding a “Dr. Weber” placard.  The mostly dark-skinned men were dressed in variety of costumes.  The chatter of foreign languages was sprinkled with an occasional English that we understood. 

Off to the right of the exit was a corral, white plastic fencing with a sign in Arabic indicating its’ purpose.  Behind the fence were a group of modesty dressed women.  I turned to Randy, asking him if he noticed the segregated women, held outside the actual airport in a make-shift waiting area.  Then it dawned on me that the only women we saw inside the airport were passengers.  This was just the first of many culture shocks we would experience over the next two weeks.

I was excited to be facilitating RIT’s Customer-centric master’s course.  Each class built upon the prior course in a learner-centered design.  The course I delivered with third in the sequence, meaning the students were familiar with each other.  In the past five years, I had already successfully facilitated this course twice in the Dominican Republic and once in Rochester NY, so I was confident with my material and the course design.  The program was competency-based, meaning that assessment of knowledge and learning happened through dialogue, aka class participation, as well as papers. 

The first day of class, I entered the classroom to find all the male students on one side of the room, and all the females on the other side with a sea of open chairs in between them.  The students varied in the dress, skin color, and demeanor. 

The first day of the course happened to fall on tenth anniversary of 9-11.  The September 11 attacks, where four coordinated terrorist suicide attacks by al-Qaeda against the United States in 2001.  I thought it would be a good idea to mention the significance of the day, inviting the participants to somehow acknowledge it.  What a mistake that was! This was the FIRST day of class.  We had no relationship.  No trust.  No understanding of each other.  In my naivety, I appeared arrogant and short-sighted.  I quickly learned, by their angry response, that I knew very little, if anything, about their world and their relationship to events such as suicide bombers, war, attacks, etc. 

I backtracked and sheepishly apologized. By acknowledging my mistake and appreciating their candor and honesty, we established a classroom culture that invited authenticity.  As uncomfortable as it was, this American was just beginning to learn some of the complexities of the Middle East.

It’s happened in other classes; when the participants find out my “day job” is partnering with horses to help human development, they get curious about EAL.  After a discussion about all the aspects co-creating a brief introduction to the work, with the stipulation that every student must agree,  we determine the day, time, place, etc.     

It’s hot.  Hotter than hot.  The air is so heavy, it’s difficult to breathe.  No wind.  My husband, Randy, and I are with one of my Master’s students, Abdul.  He’s wearing a traditional Muslim white robe, an Emirati Kanduras.  Abdul is an Emerati, or upper class which is indicated by his ghutrah, a red and white checkered woven scarf atop his head. 

We’re at a farm in the middle of nowhere in Dubia.  We met the farm manager, a tall slender European woman in her mid 30’s named Ellen.  She introduced us to a young, skinny, dark-skinned man/boy named Mohammed.   She tells us she won’t be here tomorrow when we bring the students out for an EAL introduction though she’ll make sure her staff is aware of our plans.

Ellen and her helper, Mohammed, seemed to understand that I would like three horses that got along well together, at liberty in a pasture.  The only thing we’d be asking of them would be to able to put a halter on them, then possibly lead them around for a bit.  If they had a grooming box or two that we could use that would helpful, I added.  I shared with them that I wanted to keep any risks of someone getting injured super low.  My goal was to create an opportunity for the students to witness how sensitive horses are to our behaviors, as well as the significance of the congruency of our actions and intentions.  My plan was to incorporate the experience into our customer-centric curriculum, helping the participants realize the impact of their choices on any customer-related exchange.  Ellen reassured me that she understood, so Abdul, Randy, and I left confident we were all on the same page. 

After class the following day, we arrived at the farm ahead of the students.  We did find three horses at liberty in a pasture, as we had discussed.  The only problem was their heads were down munching on a huge pile of fresh green hay.  It was dinner time.  Ellen and I didn’t discuss anything about when they fed the horses.  There was no way these horses were going to be interested in interacting with people when there was yummy hay available.  Mohammed greeted us with a wide grin, indicating he had a cooler filled with cold water next to the two grooming boxes I requested.

Sweat running down my back, I wiped the drips from the side of my face, then asked him which of the horses would be the least upset if we asked him or her to leave the hay so we could lead them around the pasture.  He said, the white Arabian, Farah, wouldn’t put up much of a fuss.  So, I shifted my gameplan from a more interactive and collective activity, to a simple leading experience. 

The students started arriving, gathering around the fence to watch the hay-eating horses.  Following the horse safety talk, I answered their questions, then inquired as to whether they would all be comfortable going into the pasture with the horses.

Everyone said yes, so after signing release forms, Mohammad opened the gate.  The students milled around the horses, who were still eating their dinner, ignoring the humans.  I asked Mohammad to halter Farah, then invited the students and Farah, with Mohammad leading, over to the side of the pasture. 

One by one each student took a turn leading Farah.  Not surprisingly, the horse mirrored the behaviors of the students in our classroom.  Nima was confident, always came to class prepared, usually a knowledgeable participant in any discussion.  When it was her turn to lead, she squared her shoulders, looked forward to where she planned to go, and confidently led the horse. 

Khalifa, on the other hand, was more introverted and timid.  It took her longer to get Farah’s head off the hay pile.  Once she decided she really did want the opportunity to lead the horse, her request was clear, and Farah took one last bite then moved forward. 

Then it was Ali’s turn.  Ali was a student who always had excuses as to why he didn’t have time to complete an assignment.  He came to class unprepared, except with an excuse as to which family member needed him instead of getting his homework done.  During discussions, he’d try to buffalo his way through, though it was clear he was just sharing his opinion, not referencing the required material. 

He walked up to Farah, who was back enjoying her dinner.  He tried half-heartedly to get her to lift her head.  She kept eating.  After several pulls on the lead rope, he looked out at his classmates and declared that maybe the horse was tired, or bored, and didn’t want to walk around anymore.  The students started looking at each other, making the connections between his classroom behavior and what we just witnessed.  Ali didn’t possess the self-awareness to recognize what was happening.  He just handed me the lead, shrugged his shoulders, then walked back to the group.

It was starting to get dark, so I suggested we thank our horse partners, then circle up, grab some cold water, and finish our time together with some reflection.  Once everyone sat down, I began with “What struck you?” 

The participants shared that they were surprised at how differently the same horse reacted to each person, based on the way the person behaved.  That the horse really responded to their present situation.  This led to a rich discussion relating back to customers, acknowledging our role in any customer exchange.      

While the diversity of our cultures, experiences, language, clothing, etc. impacts certain situations more than others.  We can trust that the language of Equus is universal.  

Recall a time when you assumed another would respond in you would in a certain situation and because of their difference worldview they did not.

What can you do in your current life to begin to be open to difference. 

What kind of diversity do you wish you had more of in the future? 

TRUST

TRUST

Stacie and I invited a group of friends to an EAL practice session at Whispering Pines Farm where I boarded my horses.  We both recently completed a three-day Equine-assisted learning certification.  Stacie invited two of her horse friends, Lori and Ann.  I invited my friend Deb and her 15-year old daughter, Ashely as well as the owner of Whispering Pines, Roger.

I started by welcoming everyone to Roger’s amazing farm.  Roger jumped in by explaining that he’s not a horse-guy, which is why he hired a horse trainer to give lessons and live in the barn apartment.  He explained that he loves animals, which is why later this spring his two girl goats, Daisy and Buttercup, will be having kids.  The female reindeer, or cows, have also been bred.  He asked if anyone had a connection to lamas or alpaca as he’d like to add them to the farm as well. 

A rambunctious young golden retriever kept begging us to throw his tennis ball, dropping it in front of anyone who was paying attention to him.  While an orange barn cat lounged in the sun on a picnic table, with a second one snuggled in a cat bed on top of a cabinet just inside the barn door. 

After Roger’s storytelling, Stacie got us started with a warm-up activity designed to help us get to know each other better and begin building trust. 

“We’d like everyone to get to know each other a little better before we start working with the horses”, she explained.  “As you heard from Roger there are lots of animals on the farm, including a variety of horses and a donkey.  You’re invited to select an animal you identify with and share with us why you picked it.”

Deb offered to go first.  She shared that she felt the most connected with Honey, the golden retriever who was still actively pestering us to throw his ball. She shared that she had a golden at home and considered herself a life-long dog lover. 

Ashley jumped in that she too felt closest to the dog.  She continued that she really liked the horses and thought the reindeer and goats were cool, she just hasn’t had much experience with them.

Next, Lori shared that she identified with the black, white, and brown tri-color paint horse grazing in the front pasture. 

“See that pretty mare walking toward the automatic waterer” she asked.  She reminds me of my first show horse, Suzie.  I showed her up until I decided to use her as a brood mare.  I still have her and her son in my backyard stable.  Suzie is now an old lady and has Cushing’s, so I’m not sure how long she’ll be with us. 

Roger jumped in next, sharing that his favorite critter was his goat, Daisy.  Daisy followed him around like a dog.  He definitely was her “person”. 

Ann was deep in thought, apparently finding it challenging to pick an animal.  Not wanting to break her concentration, everyone patiently waited as she scanned the property clearly weighing her options. 

After several minutes, she declared, “I identify most with the flies buzzing around.  They are constantly on the move, getting into a lot of shit.  That’s what my life feels like right now.  Super busy and full of shit.”

I didn’t know what to say, so looked to Stacie to respond.  She’d been friends with Ann her whole life, both attending the same grade throughout their school years and riding horses together forever.  Stacie was also a licensed mental health professional, so I knew she was well versed in what to say that wouldn’t make Ann feel awkward or blow the situation up.  All the while, I’m thinking to myself, A fly?  Really?  What’s going on behind that choice?

Stacie calmly thanked everyone for sharing adding that we appreciated everyone’s vulnerability, completely ignoring Ann unusual response.  She invited us to our next activity which was extended appendages. 

Everyone stood up and moved toward the roundpen where my beautiful bay colored gelding, Al, waited.  An English saddle, saddle pad, and halter hung on the rails, irons dangling over the sides.   We asked for three volunteers.  Ann declared that we just wanted to observe.  Roger, Deb, and Lori told us they were game.  We invited them to decide who was going to be the “brain”, and what two people were going to be the “arms”.  The brain is the only one who can talk and they will tell the arms what to do in order to saddle Al.  We asked the three to link arms, so Deb moved to one side, Roger stayed in the middle, and Lori moved to the opposite side of Roger.       

The next twenty minutes was filled with laughter, by everyone but Ann, as the “brain” asked the “arms” to saddle Al, while he stepped sideways, making it difficult to even put on the saddle pad, let alone the saddle! 

Following a short debrief about the importance of clear communication, as well as the implications of miscommunication.  We explored the significance of each participant trusting each other to not do anything that would make the situation dangerous.  That conversation let to our acknowledging that Al didn’t bolt or get too upset, reading the positive energy of the participants.

There was time for one more activity before we would close and have lunch together.  We asked Roger, Lori and Ashley to go with Stacie who would provide them with their instructions.  Ann and Deb would stay with me, where I would tell them what their job was.  Stace whispered to her group that their job was to move Al a full circle clockwise around the arena.  You guessed it, I told my two ladies that there job was to move Al a full counterclockwise.  Once they had their instruction, we brought them all together, letting Al off his lead.

Each group raised their arms, trying to push Al in the direction they were instructed to go.  It didn’t take them long to figure out they’d been given conflicting instructions.  At this point, Lori, Roger, Deb, and Ashley figured out if they worked together, going way and then the other, both groups would meet their goals.  Ann, on the other hand, didn’t join the others. 

She declared, “This is total bullshit!  You set us up.  I’m out of here”.  Then, she stomped off and headed toward her bright blue dually with “Drafty Barn” horse magnets on the sides.  Our horse partner, Al, sensed her anger, bolting across the arena, wringing his neck out of frustration. 

I turned to Stacie, inquiring in front of the group, “Would Ann be okay and was there some damage control we should be concerned with?”

Thinking to myself, the whole fly selection in the opening activity now made more sense.  Ann must be experiencing a lot of self-doubt, feeling compelled to lash out at anything and anyone who she deemed had wronged her in some way.        

Stacie responded, “Nah, this is how she can be sometimes.  I’ll call her later and check in once she’s had a chance to settle down.” 

One could sense the rest of the group was relieved with Stacie’s response, because Ann had put on quite a show.  Since Stacie was the only person with a close connection to Ann, her abrupt departure didn’t really impact the other participants. 

We re-grouped, finishing up our day together with an activity called lie detector.  Ashely was invited to ride Al, then share with us two stories, one truthful and one lie.

During the first story she told, Al walked quietly around the arena as Stacie led him, holding the lead rope softly in her hand.  When she finished that story, Stace turned Al in the opposite direction around the arena, inviting Ash to share a second tale. 

As soon as she started talking again Al began acting up.  He swished his head back and forth; then nipped at Stacie’s hand holding the rope.  Since this was one of our first times partnering with him for an EAL session, Stacie interpreted his behavior as him being a jerk, so she sought to correct him by pulling strongly on the lead. 

When Ashely finished her second story, we asked her mom, Deb, if she could tell which one was the lie.  Deb guessed it was the first one, based on some of facts that Ashley shared.  Much to her surprise, Ash told her the lie was the second one!  Now, Al’s behavior made sense. He was reading the incongruence of Ashley’s words and the truth.  Thus, the name of the activity “lie detector”.  He could detect the disconnect, even her own mother couldn’t!         

From this day forward, Stacie and I recognized that there was no such thing as JUST a “demo” or demonstration.  The therapeutic nature of partnering with horses was always present.  That this work was incredibly powerful, tapping into the emotions and feelings of the participants, however they show up in the space.

Recall a time when you felt your trust was betrayed, when you thought you were “set up”.   What did you do?

Think about your current relationships.  Describe the most trustworthy ones.  What is present in those relationships?

In the future, what can you do or not do to create more trust?