COMPANIONSHIP
The relationship between a local university and Kaleidoscope began with hosting an all-hands meeting at the farm for their faculty and staff. One of their employees, Barb, a local Frankenmuther began a friendship at Saginaw County’s Women-in-Leadership luncheons. We discovered that we valued similar approaches to adult learning. We both thought that adult learners should be able to leverage their lived experience. She recognized that to convince the decision makers at the university to allow me to facilitate courses in partnership with horses, we would be best served if they had their own hands-on experience.
I didn’t learn until much later that inviting the faculty and staff out to experience our work first-hand was a primary reason we were able to deliver eight courses over five years. Barb shared with me that the University’s legal department was scared to death to offer an equine program. They were convinced the risk was not worth the reward although we named them as additional insured, had the students sign waivers, and I was accepted as a full faculty member, meaning I had agreed to all of their human resource legal requirements. Because of our attention to safety and our expertise, I argued that the students were at higher risk of harm driving to my farm than in any danger on the property. Thankfully Barb advocated for us, referring back to the all-hands meeting’s safety procedures and low risk activities.
SOC 345 The Culture of Leadership was a three-day weekend course for adults earning their bachelor's degree. We crafted a program that intentionally required connectedness and intimacy in order to be successful. We facilitated activities that were both interpersonal and intrapersonal, creating self-awareness and building relationships. One of the students remarked that they had been in courses with some of the other students for years and this was the first time they ever learned anything personal about them.
Day one set the stage, starting with the non-traditional learning space we offered. Instead of a college classroom with bright fluorescent lights, long tables and uncomfortable straight-back chairs; the participants found two couches, a lazyboy chair, cushy wide conference room chairs, and other homey accoutrements. Of course, there was a breakfast spread of banana bread, an apple strudel, cheese sticks, boiled eggs, coffee, tea, hot chocolate and cold beverages.
I also began the course by intentionally facilitating the academic information to ensure the participants realized they were as equally responsible for their learning as I was as the professor. Most of the students had not experienced a learner-centered, competency-based model before. Even though they were working adults in professional careers, they were often surprised by the invitation to own their learning. Most of their other courses were sage on the stage, a traditional, teacher-centered educational approach where an instructor lectures, acting as the primary knowledge source. We were quite the opposite.
I started each course by explaining to the participants that they already earned an “A’ in the course, that it was theirs’ to lose. As I walked them through the syllabus and workbook, I pointed out how I had set them up for success. I would reward the “try” if they followed the outline and met the expectations described. They were invited to stay curious and question everything. I told them I hoped to learn as much from them as they did from me.
Day two we upped the ante, shifting from building relationships to experientially pushing on their beliefs. We sequenced activities that invited them to look at their worldviews, actions, and choices – both with the horses and in life. This was one of my favorite days because the design pushed them outside their comfort zone in the morning; then in the afternoon we brought them all back together. We created a sort of “kumbaya experience” which supported all learning styles and every participant.
Day three each participant was invited to create their own leadership path into the future. The purpose of the activity was to explore their concept of leadership and its’ application. They were instructed to define the beginning and end point and lead a selected horse through the obstacle course they designed. There was no specific time limit. When it was not the participant’s turn, they were to be an “Active Observer”, watching for congruence between the leader’s actions and words, as well as the horse’s responses. While we facilitated this activity nearly 100 times, there are three stories that stand out. Times when we co-created an environment of intimacy that was life changing.
Story 1: Jim’s leadership goal was to stop smoking. Because the students’ path into the future activity could be anything they wanted, stopping smoking was a legitimate “leadership” choice. My belief was/is that being an impactful leader begins with self-awareness.
Jim used our horse-safe props to create a path where he was most vulnerable to smoking. He put pool noodles in a triangle to represent being at the bar with friends. He took four cones to make a box representing the entrance on the sidewalk outside his place of work where smokers gathered. In between the square and the triangle, he laid pvc pipes to create a path. The path he told us was his car, where he usually lit up on his way to and from work. The final “temptation” was a large area he designated with smaller multi-colored discs he named as his home. He felt it was important to share with us that he only smoked on his porch, not inside his home.
He invited several of his classmates to join him as he walked this path, each of them representing a smoking buddy. He haltered Diva, cleanly walked the path without a single pause, reaching the end without any hesitation from Miss D. When I ran into Jim’s dad at a Chamber meeting, I learned that Jim indeed did quit smoking. He gave it up following his Kaleidoscope experience.
Story 2: It was the first day of our course. The room was filled with eleven students, some of them re-introducing themselves to each other. Others gravitated to the food and coffee welcoming them to our space. Stacie and I both noticed David the minute he entered the conference room. He looked distracted and distant. He quietly slipped into a chair located the furthest away from the others. After distributing the workbooks, we invited each person to introduce themselves. When it was David’s turn, he shared that he wasn’t sure he was going to be able to be a part of the class. His daughter’s best friend had committed suicide the night before by driving his car into a tree. He was distraught and not sure he could be present with us, he explained.
I told him we understood that we were very sorry for his loss and asked how we could support him. He said he wasn’t sure. He’d just wait to see how he felt and how things went. All the other students nodded in agreement, with the woman sitting next to him reaching over rubbing his arm lightly.
David made it to day three. He created a leadership path that included all his fellow participants and all the horses. He told us that he took everything he learned in this course home to share with his daughter and her friends. The insights about making choices, identifying what we can control and what we can’t, and information about brain research all contributed to his conversations with the kids. Through tears streaming down his face, he thanked us all for our kindness and wisdom.
Story 3: Matt decided he wanted his path to represent the choice of whether to have another child or not. He brought with him a picture of his daughter who recently died from a rare genetic disorder. He and his wife were at a crossroads trying to decide if they should try again to have a baby. His wife was terrified that they would lose another baby and wasn’t convinced that she could go through that again or that their marriage could survive a diagnosis that led to difficult life or death decisions.
There was not a dry eye in the arena after Matt shared his story. He laid out his path with two yellow discs representing the beginning. Then he made two lines of pvc pipes, one angling to the left, the other to the right. At the end on the left was a large orange cone where he taped his deceased daughter’s picture, representing, “yes” they would try again to have a baby. The pvc pipe to the right was empty representing no. No baby.
Matt chose to partner with Al. He wadded the lead rope up in his right hand, his left hand wrapped under Al’s neck, hugging it gently. He leaned forward, inviting Al to move. Al took the cue, ears up facing forward, he walked slowly toward the center of the arena. When he reached the crossroads where the pvc pipes split into a “V” he turned his head, right, then left, surveying his options. Matt stood quietly waiting to sense which direction Al wanted to go. Al turned to the left, moving directly toward the cone, when he reached it, he sniffed the picture taped to it.
Randy and I were visiting our friends Kathy and Joe at their cottage on Houghton Lake. Sitting around the campfire was a man, woman, and their nine-year old daughter. The man saw me then came over to where I was standing. I recognized him immediately. It was Matt. A huge smile on his face, he thanked me for his Kaleidoscope experience. He put his arm around the young girl standing next to him, sharing that if it weren’t for Al, he wasn’t sure Maddie would be here today.
Recall a time when your companions directly impacted the results of a leadership decision you made. Share the significance of that impact.
Have you applied what you learned to other situations? If so, when and how?
If not, why not and what will you do differently in the future?