SPIRITUALITY
Following a hearty and delicious breakfast of fresh fruit, including bright green and orange melon, black, red, and blue berries, homemade crusty sourdough bread with whipped butter and a spread of bacon, sausage, and scrambled eggs, the first session of the International Equine Summit began. It was a classroom session with a “death by power-point” presentation on laminitis by a very passionate veterinarian explaining in great detail this severely painful equine disease.
Thankfully, I was up next with a session entitled, “Head, Heart, and Harmony” where we would partner with our horse friends. Ten women, including the owner of the Apache Springs Ranch and one of the founding mothers of equine assisted services, Barbara Rector, were in the group that decided to join me. I was feeling confident, yet with a little trepidation, because such “royalty” had decided to participate in my session.
We trudged up a dusty hill to find three very anxious horses running around a metal pipe-fenced pasture. Each horse bowed their bodies, heads turning to the right and left, kicking up dust, tails high in the air, snorting. I took one look at the horses, then turned around to face the clump of my waiting participants. We all recognized it would not be safe to enter the pasture until our equine partners calmed down. Rather than solve this challenge by myself, I humbly asked the group what they would do in this situation if they were the presenter. By inviting them to share their ideas, I created an experience where we were equals, no longer presenter/participant.
Each person responded, taking turns sharing their ideas about how to best support our four-legged facilitators. One person suggested we begin by grounding ourselves. Another chimed in that we could add deep breathing. A third suggested that we spread out around the pen, so our energy would be dissipated, expanding the space where the horses could feel our calming invitation.
Affirming theses were all great ideas and before we spread out, I asked Barbara to guide us through her well-known safety agreement. She asked us to repeat after her, “I agree to take responsibility for myself today and by doing so I contribute to the safety of the group”. In unison, a harmonious song of confident female voices proclaimed our commitment to ourselves and each other.
Next, I invited the participants to spread out around the outside of the fence. The eleven of us stood with our arms out, shoulder to shoulder, palms facing forward, projecting a loving energy toward the horses. I invited the group to close their eyes, imagining they were breathing through their heart space. The participants complied, closed their eyes, then took several deep breaths, summoning mother earth’s energy.
As if by magic, the once spirited horses, all stopped and turned toward the half-circle of jean clad, boot wearing women. The horses now stood calmly, nostrils slightly flaring as their heart rates slowed down back to normal. I invited my guests to open their eyes and see what I was sure each of us sensed. Together, we had made a deep, spiritual, connection with each other and our horse partners. We did this through offering compassion without an work-related agenda.
Collectively we decided to spend the last half-hour of our time together deepening our exploration of this shared experience. People organically broke off into smaller groups, sharing ideas, while they scratched and loved on the calm and welcoming horses.
After another delicious healthy lunch, we exited the lodge, walking out into the bright sunshine to find three calm horses lazily wandering around the open-air arena on a warm October day. Onlookers, the other fifty participants and speakers, sat on metal bleachers, shaded from the sun by a reddish-brown faded tin roof, surrounded by Arizona desert.
Host, Shelly Rosenberg, introduced Michelle Holling-Brooks from Unbridled Change, as our next presenter. Michelle and I met the day prior and immediately formed a heartfelt connection. She and I and another presenter, Willow Vetch, became somewhat of a three-some, seeking each other’s company throughout the Summit. Michelle and Willow were (are) very spiritual and empathic, much more than me. They both shared stories of experiencing their human lives, not as simply humans; rather they felt they were more horse than human. They could read energy in a horse-like sense, telepathically and in pictures not words. In their equine-assisted learning work they would then use those sensations to guide others through a path of transformation, helping clients connect to their true self—body, mind, heart, and soul.
After Shelly’s introduction, Michelle began her session by explaining that bonding, trust, respect, willingness, and focus were critical parts of horse communication. That being able to communicate in this manner brings well-being to your soul, and to the horse’s soul, where you will discover your true nature. In her session, she would help a volunteer connect to the very heart of the horse. This, she explained, would assist the person in understanding how to use horses as our guides for self-realization.
Michelle looked out into the bleachers, then invited me into the arena by “voluntelling” me to volunteer. I felt nervous being watched by my peers and I wondered why she asked me, “Are you ready?” As the activity unfolded, I came to appreciate the friendly nudge to be vulnerable and experience her wisdom.
Michelle gave me a long piece of switch grass, used to extend my touch, she then instructed me to pick a horse. I moved away from Michelle and toward the horses, that were just standing nearby expectantly waiting to see what was going to be asked of them. I turned and faced them, selecting the mare closest to me, a draft horse cross with a flowing mane, full forelock, and thick blond tail. I pointed my switchgrass in her direction, extending my arm its’ full length. I squared myself, targeting my energy at this mare, willing her to acknowledge my invitation by coming toward me. My inner voice was overthinking the process, flashing ideas of “What’s the right way to do this? Am I doing it all wrong? Oh, man, what if I screw this up in front of everybody?”.
I tried to getting this beautiful mare to pay attention by silently directing her to turn, come toward, me or even just acknowledge my existence. She continued to keep her head down and rather than make any suggestion she was aware of my presence, she turned toward the other two horses, a bay mustang mare and a black quarter horse gelding.
When she rejected me, my inner dialogue shifted into high gear, warp speed, as I heard the “tape of failure” in my head. I also heard the inner struggle, of there is no such thing as failure, only learning. What I didn’t realize at the time was that by facing her with such a bold stance, I was actually pushing her away with my energy rather than inviting her in. I was commanding, not inviting.
I turned toward Michelle seeking her input and advice. She suggested that I pause. Listen. Regulate myself first. She further advised that I inviting rather than insist. She told me to find the one place where I could receive a genuine yes from the horse. Get curious instead of judgmental. It was as though Michelle had read my thoughts. How did you know that my self-talk had been so critical, I wondered.
On the second try, I started by grounding myself. I took a deep breath, accepting that I could fully connect with a horse through my whole body, not just a shallow attempt of “thinking” my way into the relationship. I slowed down the interaction, removed unnecessary pressure by turning my body slightly to the side, not aiming my pelvis directly at the horses. I did this with the intention of allowing choice, inviting connection, meeting their energy with grounded leadership instead of force. Instead of just picking the horse closest to me, I gently scanned the three horses, sensing who would be open to an invitation to connection. The black gelding, ever so slightly, flicked his right ear in my direction. He then turned toward me and SAW me. I burst into tears, feeling a sense of pure love, acceptance, and acknowledgement through his loving gaze.
By giving up my own personal agenda, I could clearly sense the voice of the horse. I felt as if I had stepped into his harmonious world because I was willing to wait for him to connect with me on his terms.
I looked at Michelle and she smiled. Then slowly nodded knowingly. It occurred to me then that the reason she chose me, starting with the question, “Are you ready?” was because she was inviting me into the world she knew. The invisible world of sacred connections. Through our conversations as well as her intuition, she recognized my spirituality. While I may not be as fully attuned as she and Willow, I am still a conduit, vibrating on a higher level.
For horses, presence is everything. They live entirely in the now. When we join them there the quality of the relationship deepens. The experience becomes fuller, richer, more peaceful because we are truly with them. It’s how horses communicate with each other. When the horse instinctively understands our intentions, responding without hesitation or confusion magic happens.
She asked me what I felt. Through my tears I sort of choked out the words “Pure Love”. My friend and teacher, Michelle, affirmed my feelings were real. Really real.
What subtle ways might I be holding myself back from being fully present with Spirit/God/Budda?
What actions can I take to enhance my spirit and spirituality?
In the future what spiritual teachers will I seek out?