STABILITY
At twelve years old, my daughter, Carlye, and her friend, Lexi, helped Amber, Sara, and me design a weeklong horse camp in partnership with YMCA’s Camp Timbers. LASSO was designed for 10 – 14 years old girls to explore valuable life skills through working with horses on the ground, creative expression through crafts and games, and horseback riding. LASSO recognized the uniqueness of individuals and provided participants with opportunities to tie horse skills and life skills together.
The majority of each day was divided between horse activities, which Sara and Amber facilitated and non-horse experiential games that I ran. Two one and a half hour sessions the kids were integrated with other campers for typical camping experiences, such as high adventure activities including the climbing tower and the zip line, along with activities such as fishing, kayaking, and other sports. All the LASSO campers were assigned to the same lodge, so we could have a shared space.
Each day was themed:
Sunday: The Loose Noose LASSO Introductions
Monday: Leadership: What it is and What it is Knot
Tuesday: Diversity: Braiding Different Ropes Together
Wednesday: Self-Awareness: Life’s “Loopiness”
Thursday: Teambuilding: Making a Rope Bridge
Friday: Lassoing Family and Friends
Sara, Amber, and I were “campers” too so were required to follow all the rules that applied to anyone staying on property. One of those rules was to pass a swim test because the camp includes Piper Lake. To pass the test, you needed to swim breaststroke or free style from one side of the lake to the other, staying within your marked lane.
Amber, Sara, and I put on our suits and prepared to swim the length of the lake. I grew up with a built-in pool in my backyard my entire life, so knew passing the swimming test was not going to be a challenge. What I didn’t know was that I was going to embarrass myself by swimming diagonally, instead of in a straight line, nearly bumping into Sara who was in the lane next to me. My directionally challenged paddling created a fun memory, starting out our camping experience with a solid shared experience for the three of us. This firm foundation would be helpful in guiding each of us through a week of new challenges, learning opportunities, and memory making!
Camp Timbers horse staff person was Kate. She worked with Sara and Amber helping with equipment and answering questions about the 18 different camp horses. Sara and Amber loved the challenge of working with diverse horses; they had a ton of fun discovering the different personalities of both the horses and the kids.
We started out the horse part of our program by letting each participant pick which horse they wanted to partner with for the week. A very soft-spoken and somewhat shy girl named Ellie, wandered around the pasture, moving around all the horses, trying to find the right one. She reached the back of the paddock, picking the only horse that had an active case of strangles. Strangles in horses is a highly contagious respiratory infection resulting in fever, thick nasal discharge, and severe swelling/abscessation of the lymph nodes in the throat. It often affects younger horses, causing difficulty swallowing or breathing (hence "strangles").
I knew Ellie’s mom through her participation in Frankenmuth’s Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Society Walk. She was wheelchair bound. The fact that her mom had a debilitating disease and Ellie selected the only horse with an active disease did not seem to be a coincidence. Amber, Sara, and I had often experienced the attraction of a person to a horse who shared something in common. The connection could have been a previously abused horse being selected by someone who had also shared they survived an abusive relationship. Another time the selection was a person who was a performer in some way, choosing a horse that had been a winning show horse earlier in his or her life. These “invisible ties” are not always known, they may stay unknown, only as a felt-sense of belonging and connection.
The activities we designed for the kids naturally invited the horses to also engage. Camp horses are typically asked to just be “bomb proof” or safe for the rider.
This week of LASSO camp invited the horses to come alive through new non-riding experiences. One that they really embraced was being led through a maze of hay bales by a camper on each side with a lead rope attached, one to the right and one to left of their halter. The girls’ goal was to work together to reach the end as quickly as possible. The campers struggled to move the horses forward down the designated haybale lined path, as each horse bent their necks, opened their mouths, reaching out to sneak bites of hay. While the girls learned about the importance of effective communication, focusing on the goal not the distractions, and collaborating instead of competing, the horses had a little extra bounce in their step from engaging in something new, rather than simply trail riding.
There was one young lady, Maureen, who had a know-it-all sort of personality. Amber, Sara, I recognized this as a coping mechanism. She was a larger girl, so when it came to riding she was only able to choose from the three draft horses because of her size. She was also the kind of kid that wasn’t willing to take direction. Sara, Amber, and I noticed her anti-social behavior prior to any horse activities and suspected that she was going to face some real-world challenges from our equine partners.
Wednesday’s program was focused on self-esteem, grooming, and appearance. The campers had now been together for four days, so we could see who sat next to who during meals and other activities. Maureen didn’t have a close buddy or best friend, she was a bit of an outsider.
For the horse activity that day, Maureen was on Jed, a large Belgian draft horse with a sweet personality. He had really come alive during the week, showing more and more of himself getting playful and brighter eyed daily. The girls had saddled up and were walking their horses inside the outdoor arena. Sara and Amber were in the middle of the arena making sure everyone was safely moving forward.
Then something weird happened. They noticed that the campers/riders and their horses were all stopped around the arena. Turning, they saw Jed literally sitting on the ground with Maureen plopped on the dirt next to him. Calmly, Amber asked Maureen what happened. In a pouty sort of way, Maureen responded, “I don’t know how to do this.”
Amber took a deep breath then replied, “Well, you’ve been doing it all week. So, why don’t you just get back on Jed.”
Jed had stood back up, a small cloud of sand rose as he shook himself off in a sort of “reset”. Maureen looked around, realizing no one was going to come to save her, she stood up, dusted herself off and grabbed the reins that were hanging from Jed, who was standing quietly, patiently waiting. My team and I share the belief that “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.” Maureen did not seem open or willing to talk about what had just happened, which is why Amber did not ask any questions or do any additional probing about the experience. What could have been a teachable moment for Maureen was not because of her unwillingness to be curious or vulnerable.
Because of the contagious nature of strangles, we decided that we’d have to clean everything before we got home. Both Sara and Amber were the owners of two young horses who would be very vulnerable. Sara, having been a medical equipment representative, confidently researched what cleaners we should use to ensure that we wouldn’t bring any disease back to the farms.
In order to make sure we weren’t taking anything home on our clothes, we decided to make a game of buying new clothes. At the local Walmart, Sara, Amber, Lexi, Carlye, and I all agreed that whoever bought the ugliest clothes would win a prize. We laughed and laughed at all the fun choices. I ended up winning with my sponge Bob square pants bright yellow shorts and multicolored Bob Seger concert t-shirt. The others looked almost as ridiculous in fairy princess shirts, looney toons shorts, leopard and tiger prints, and a variety of unfashionable and quite ugly choices.
New clothing secured, we headed to the white brick outside car wash. Thankfully, it was a warm sunny day, so we were able to use the sun as a second line of defense in killing any germs. We set up system where the girls, Carlye and Lexi, would take things out of the truck and line them up. Sara and Amber had the spray disinfectant, so it was their job to spray each item, making sure they got in all the crevasses and cracks. My job was to follow after them, turning all the items over so Sara and Amber could come back to cleanse the other side once they reached the end of the line. Saddles, bridles, props, all dried without much trouble. The ink on all the workbooks and papers bled, creating new artistic designs.
The steadfastness of our relationships, equine and educational knowledge, and connection were the foundations for LASSO. Sara, Amber, Carlye, Lexi and I modeled tying life skills and horse skills together co-creating a braided, secure state of being for all involved.
Recall a time when you were able to maintain your balance, avoiding external forces seeking to upset your equilibrium?
What were the conditions that helped you maintain your stability?
How can you replicate those lessons learned in the future situations?